Just how much effort we put into interacting with others really is dependent on a few things. What role does the person play in our lives? Is everything up to us, and if so, why? Do we truly benefit from continuing to engage with this person? Sometimes, the answers take a little digging around, before we can know for certain how much effort is too much, and how much is enough.
Every single person you know is different. That's not news to anyone, of course, but sometimes we fail to connect to that basic fact when we truly need to remember it most. We are all different, which means we interact differently; some of us find it easier than others to communicate. Each of us requires a completely different level of effort from those we encounter, or know. Rather than see those who require more effort than most as a waste of time, or find others who require almost no effort boring, we might stop to think that our adaptability and depth comes from being able to adjust ourselves and how we invest who we are.
Life wouldn't mean nearly as much, and we'd have memories that were barely distinguishable from one to the next, if every interaction was predictable; the same. We'd lose purpose, or at the very least be plagued with a lackluster existence. The varying levels of effort that each of our relationships require, are what keep us agile and ready for change at a moment's notice. We can adapt far more quickly when we have practiced on a regular basis through human interaction.
It doesn't matter to me if I find I do most of the work in a friendship more often than not, because if I'm still part of it, I know the reason is it's a positive energy source for both of us. Not all 'uneven' relationships are negative or toxic. Sometimes there is just one party who is able to extend themselves further, risk more, and be present more readily. That person has often had more practice meeting people more than halfway...and maybe that's something that actually fulfills them and keeps them strong. Almost nothing in life is equal; if it were, few, if any of us would ever be able to appreciate the good around us.
Do the work when it counts, and appreciate the times in between when you're allowed to coast, because there is someone in your life who meets you more than half way. It doesn't have to be the person you've exerted more effort with, that returns that investment. Be who you are and give what each person in your life needs; all that you require will come back to you, one way or another.
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