In all the crazy that is daily life, I often wonder how I can consider myself sane whenever I take on something new. Or even just something more. Ah, but I've been looking at things from the wrong side of the glass all this time, as I've come to understand that sanity is something no seriously active person will ever experience. Off center, and colorful is exactly how I want my life to be.
Sure, like I would claim any different. I mean, it's not like the name of this blog - and everything I've written here would be a sham if I suddenly was desperate to be seen as sane or normal, or lamenting about how I wish I were normal. I'm fairly certain I was born with a lack of desire to conform, at least for the most part. Different, insane, crazy, odd...no matter how it comes across, my life and the way I live it can't ever be called boring.
Sometimes I think that my life before kids was less...unpredictable, and while having less responsibility might make it seem that way in reflection, it just takes reminding myself that I hadn't even realized a tenth of the possible experiences life had to offer back then. Well, that, and the fact that memory is selective. What we remember, and how we choose to remember are based on the influences around us at the time we recall them. I rather enjoy the mayhem that is woven into most of my days now.
In the two seconds before I refocus my energy when my routine is jostled, I stress about how I'm going to make it all work. Two seconds. That is typically the length of time that I spend allowing negative energy to lead my thoughts and attitude, and just sitting back and owning that feels amazing. There are still those times when I let the feeling of being overwhelmed by stress hang around for awhile, but they are quite few and far between. Rather than beat myself up over those times, I choose to think of those moments as a vivid reminder of the life I shed; something that keeps me from ever sliding back into that world of misery.
So bring on the upheaval of a new routine that involves conscious dietary consideration in a manner I have never approached before, diligent exploitation of every muscle this body has as I build a fitter version of me, and all the unpredictability of challenging firsts that are sure to be lined up along the way. I see no reason to stop at achieving a healthier mind, and more positive soul. Every shining light deserves a flattering fixture.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
On A Roll Now
It appears that as I get more and more comfortable in this life I've been working at, I realize that some of the things that aren't working anymore aren't necessarily because I'm slacking at living a better life. Amazingly enough, it took the past two years to really dig deep and push an evolution within my heart and soul. At the risk of sounding New Age-y, my 40s have been an awakening on nearly every level.
Those nagging issues that are making themselves more and more known, are really a blessing. My health has always been relatively good, so the current state of malaise that pops up in a far more frequent way these days, has grabbed my attention. I have freed myself from so many negative habits, and as a result I have no doubts that these remaining hurdles aren't the symptom of stress, anxiety or unhappiness. They are the legitimate effects of consuming and using an array of chemicals and toxic products over a prolonged period of time. Just how can I be sure? I'm far more in tune with my body since I've immersed myself in positive thinking and living.
I am well aware that the processed garbage that passes for food these days is laden with numerous ingredients that were never meant to be ingested. I bought into the bullshit, and frankly I allowed myself to become lazy; giving up years to time-saving, carb-filled options that eventually robbed me of my energy, focus and ambition. The funny thing is, even knowing the shit I was consuming (and feeding my kids) was irresponsible, I just turned a blind eye and continued along day after day. It wasn't until I'd changed my way of thinking and relating, that I could actually do something. Maybe I was just so addicted to the crap, that I needed to build a stronger me in order to tackle this kind of change.
Being me; being a more positive, understanding and freer person was a challenging accomplishment. I have to say I'd do it a hundred more times instead of revamping my dietary and personal habits, because this shit is almost overwhelming. Of course, I'm not who I was two years ago, and I've got an incredible light of determination that keeps me going that has already made a world of difference.
I won't tell someone else they should follow suit, and I refuse to criticize anyone else's choices. Even if it is obvious to me that there is a better way, who am I to say so? It is quite unlikely that I would have listened to anyone's advice, no matter how much fact they had to back it up, just a few years ago. And honestly, I might never have cut ties with that negative trough of bullshit if I was focused on begrudgingly 'changing my ways'.
We get to where we are going in our own unique time spans. What triggers enlightenment, what fuels change is unique to us all. I'm on this path, fully committed to where I'm going, and completely aware of the moments that make up the journey. Lasting change and betterment cannot happen without the freedom to make those kind of commitments to yourself. If it takes ten different attempts, or a thousand, to find the realm of balance body, mind and soul that's what it takes. If the changes I've made, and continue to make, inspire someone to make changes in their own life, fantastic. We can inspire and we can be inspired, but we can only do the work for ourselves.
Those nagging issues that are making themselves more and more known, are really a blessing. My health has always been relatively good, so the current state of malaise that pops up in a far more frequent way these days, has grabbed my attention. I have freed myself from so many negative habits, and as a result I have no doubts that these remaining hurdles aren't the symptom of stress, anxiety or unhappiness. They are the legitimate effects of consuming and using an array of chemicals and toxic products over a prolonged period of time. Just how can I be sure? I'm far more in tune with my body since I've immersed myself in positive thinking and living.
I am well aware that the processed garbage that passes for food these days is laden with numerous ingredients that were never meant to be ingested. I bought into the bullshit, and frankly I allowed myself to become lazy; giving up years to time-saving, carb-filled options that eventually robbed me of my energy, focus and ambition. The funny thing is, even knowing the shit I was consuming (and feeding my kids) was irresponsible, I just turned a blind eye and continued along day after day. It wasn't until I'd changed my way of thinking and relating, that I could actually do something. Maybe I was just so addicted to the crap, that I needed to build a stronger me in order to tackle this kind of change.
Being me; being a more positive, understanding and freer person was a challenging accomplishment. I have to say I'd do it a hundred more times instead of revamping my dietary and personal habits, because this shit is almost overwhelming. Of course, I'm not who I was two years ago, and I've got an incredible light of determination that keeps me going that has already made a world of difference.
I won't tell someone else they should follow suit, and I refuse to criticize anyone else's choices. Even if it is obvious to me that there is a better way, who am I to say so? It is quite unlikely that I would have listened to anyone's advice, no matter how much fact they had to back it up, just a few years ago. And honestly, I might never have cut ties with that negative trough of bullshit if I was focused on begrudgingly 'changing my ways'.
We get to where we are going in our own unique time spans. What triggers enlightenment, what fuels change is unique to us all. I'm on this path, fully committed to where I'm going, and completely aware of the moments that make up the journey. Lasting change and betterment cannot happen without the freedom to make those kind of commitments to yourself. If it takes ten different attempts, or a thousand, to find the realm of balance body, mind and soul that's what it takes. If the changes I've made, and continue to make, inspire someone to make changes in their own life, fantastic. We can inspire and we can be inspired, but we can only do the work for ourselves.
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