Being a taxi to my sons was something I hadn't really given much thought to when they were little. I mean sure, I taxied them around with me, but it wasn't quite the same as what I'm doing these days. Now it includes late night pick-ups of my youngest son, while realizing my oldest doesn't need me anymore.
I'm not necessarily upset about this, but it does drive home just how quickly life has sped by since I first held each of them in my arms. In those moments, when I finally got to meet the little balls of energy that spent months dancing on my bladder and kicking me in the ribs, knocking the wind out of me, I never imagined being where I am at this moment. The possibilities of their first year of life were far too numerous to even consider their walk into adulthood.
Sometimes I wonder if I've hugged them enough. I worry that I've made mistakes that will impact their ability to be understanding, compassionate, and open. Have I been too lenient? Too strict? When they leave and forge their own path, will they remember to call or visit often? Do I do too much, or not enough?
I've complained and groaned about helping them maintain teenage social lives, but quickly remember that one day soon I will be wishing I was still driving them here, there and everywhere. It is far too easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of what's to come, and to forget about being present in the moment. The seeming inconvenience of last minute plans is just another opportunity to be fully present and involved in each of their lives.
Soon enough I will be jumping at any opportunity to help them out or pick them up somewhere when they need a ride, just to spend a few minutes with them and relive the days I have at my disposal now. Think I will continue to fully appreciate my role as taxi driver for as long as I can; especially since my youngest will be starting driver's ed soon. What a thing to watch a number of your parenting roles slowly become obsolete. Time to work on honing mom-to-adult-children interactions.
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