The Worst Part Isn't Moving, It's Unpacking It All

A great test in patience is moving. Not only are you dependent on others to get things done (and I am not the best at allowing people to help), but the whole unpacking boxes and finding spots for everything is definitely trying to the get-it-all-done types. I can pack and move all day long, but sit me in a house with everything all at once and I fight overwhelming urges to run away.

I've been fortunate enough to have friends and family who are like-minded in their focus to get things done in short order. This move went well up until I had to hand over the loading and unloading of my belongings to movers. I chose to go that route because it was such a short period of time to recruit the usual assitance. I didn't think it was possible but I appreciate those reliable and hardworking friends and family more than ever before. I'm grateful that a big bulk of the move was done with my sisters and their kiddos helping us. We got so much done, it's hard to believe.

The next couple of weeks, as we are settling in, my level-headed, positive mood will be challenged daily. The total disarray will not win. I will tackle the unpacking bit by bit and maintain my balanced state of mind. The cardboard boxes that taunt me will not win!

It Is All Of My Own Making

The Universe, as I've come to know and think of it, is the mother source of all energy. While there are many types of energy, those of us who believe that what you put out is what you get back see them in two categories: positive and negative. Certainly what makes the energy you produce one or the other varies a bit, but going with how you feel is an indicator of the camp your energy falls in.

I am a staunch believer that I create my own happiness, opportunity, and good fortune. On the other side of that, I'm equally capable of manifesting sorrow, hardship, and misfortune. It might not always be easy to maintain an output of positive energy, but the life I live depends on it and constant redirection of my perceptions and thoughts is non-negotiable. There are moments when self-doubt and insecurities seep into my thoughts, and it can be a bitch getting them to leave. They are the worst kind of party crasher.

It isn't as though I think myself an expert or authority on this approach to life, I'm rather more of a student, excitedly sharing my discoveries. I know enough — have experienced enough to recognize that both types of energy are incredibly powerful. I am also certain that the reality and impact of each absolutely, without a doubt, exists. When my thoughts were predominantly self-defeating and negative, my life was essentially a mess. Nothing went right and I was stuck in a cycle of what I saw as bad luck, feeling as though I was just one of those people destined to struggle for the duration of my existence. I honestly believed I had no power to change my circumstances and because of that, I stayed mired in discontent and self-pity for far longer than I should have. 

The years it took me to see the light weren't a total waste, however. That time solidified the existence of energies and their power without my even knowing it. When I finally came around to exercising more positive thoughts, the changes in my life and circumstances were undeniable. I'd lived so long with a begrudging, hard attitude on life (after all, I'd suffered at the hands of others many times) that I had a plethora of evidence that negative energy begets negative results. The more positive thoughts I embraced and generated, the more opportunity and good experiences came my way. 

I refuse to dismiss any of this as the luck of the draw or coincidence. And I don't necessarily believe that the possibilities of betterment don't exist for those who have yet to break the negative thought cycles they are in, they are just incapable of seeing any of them from where they are. It's like the clarity of sight cannot be achieved without the light of positive energy. If you awaken in a dark room, you cannot see the door and may surmise that you are trapped. A person who actively emphasizes positive energy will calmly search the perimeter of the room with their hands until they locate the exit. They are likely to find it more quickly than someone who is frantically trying to find the way out, as well. I know that I am the former these days, and that is something that bolsters my resolve to continue embracing life and all the possibilities that exist each and every day.

Without a doubt, there is a lot of shit in the world, but allowing it to reproduce by giving into the darkness of it won't produce change. Seeing it for what it is and choosing to take a proactive position will. Positive energy isn't a magic wand, but it is most definitely a beneficial and catching game changer in life. I choose to live by it because I prefer to experience a life in every color possible, not just the few negativity confines me to.

Short And Sweet

Whatever you choose to believe in, if you believe with all of yourself and refuse to give into the negative thoughts and emotions, you will reap the benefits.

The Universe responds in kind. Be careful what you out out there - make sure it's something you can handle when it comes back around. It might not be easy to be positive and spread that energy around, but it I always worth it in the end. 

There Is Nothing Wrong With Changing Your Mind

If you think about any issue or topic long enough, you're likely to question your first impression. I don't mean that you'll change your mind, but it's quite likely that if you spend enough time pondering you'll see a few things you didn't when you first formed your initial feeling or opinion. You will either run from it, clinging to your comfortable perception of life, or you will soften a bit and learn something about the world around you, and yourself.

There are three sides to every story, one side, the other side and then the truth. It's the same with anything. What we perceive and what the whole reality is are usually on opposite sides of the spectrum. When you finally realize that everything, even our most rigid position on things is subjective to what is around us and where we are at in life from one moment to the next, it makes digesting any unexpected information easier.

The older I get the more evolved my perspective for most things becomes. I may have been unyielding in thoughts surrounding politics in my younger years, but these days I find that it's not as easy to see everything so cut and dry. Being open to possibilities means also being aware that not everything fits into a neat little box. I'd rather have a room with odds and ends spilling out over their designated space and have people feel relaxed and at home over every aspect of my life perfectly positioned, leaving people concerned they might accidentally move something out of place. Flexibility and openness are more valuable than precision and the perfect fit. Except maybe with shoes.

Everything Comes Together If You Just Allow Enough Space

T-minus six days until we officially move and become residents of Cape Elizabeth. Just five little miles from where we are now, but it seems like a whole different world to me. And really, it isn't too far off from that. We are moving to a house — something we haven't had since I sold our first eight years ago, there is a view of the marshes, the neighborhood is the kind I grew up in, and I would never have guessed I'd ever live in Cape E. Life presents interesting twists and turns.

While it wasn't my intention to move until my youngest went off to college next year, I am looking at the opportunity this unexpected situation will bring. As I sit here surrounded by cardboard boxes, some filled and some yet to be taped up and readied for contents, I realize the best way to achieve things you think are impossible is to just start somewhere and avoid thinking of all the why-nots. Besides, packing and unpacking don't happen by lamenting about having to do either.

The best way to handle difficult times or undesirable paths isn't by dwelling on the negative aspects of them. It's remaining open enough to see the positive ones. Imagine being the person who decided lemons were more than just nature's cruel trick. If someone saw the potential in that sour fruit, we should be able to see the possibilities in moments where it may not seem like there are any.

Sunday we settle into a new space, and while much may change, our lives are continuing to fall into place for the better. Here's to new experiences and continued growth. Not even having to clear snow myself could stop me from finding the silver lining in all of this.

The Ocean Never Gets Old

A bit crazy to think that I've lived in this state for nearly my entire life and I've never gone on a boat tour of the bay. Sure I've ridden the ferries, but I've never gotten the historical bit over a 90-minute sail. Some of the information I knew but there were a number of things I'd never heard before. From lighthouses to forts, islands to marine life, our guide was great, the sky was clear and the weather was near perfect.

Given that summer in Maine is relatively short-lived, getting out and enjoying as much of it as possible is a must. This year we have been fortunate enough to have consistently warm weather and beautiful days. We could use the rain, but I wouldn't trade the sunshine for greener grass. Yeah, I'm greedy when it comes to nice weather, I mean, winter lasts for far too long most years.


As long as the good weather is here, I will continue to find ways to be out enjoying it. Exploring the state (albeit most likely the coastal region) seems like the best way to spend my time in the sun. Doing things I've neglected to do for far too long, it's time to play the part of tourist and let the majestic nature of Maine leave me in awe. Though I often complain about winter, I could never deny the beauty of this state. Rocky shorelines, sandy beaches, mountains, nature trails, culture and a working waterfront in a small city, lakes, streams and more. There is far too much about this state that I value to ever stop calling it home. Someday I would like to winter in the south (and by winter I mean six months), and no matter where I end up, I can't imagine not ever coming back to the place that will always be home.

It was a relatively simple outing, complete with copious amounts of ocean air and as always, it absolutely made my day. Of course, the company alone always makes my day, so I consider myself doubly lucky. Fun, sun, and even the packing got underway, and the best part of the day by far was a couple of hours of QT with Mr. Blue Eyes breathing in the ocean air. A near perfect end to the weekend and one of many amazing Sunday afternoons this year.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

The World Would Be A Better Place If Gene Roddenberry Wrote It

Entertainment is watching the pilot episode of Star Trek. I had no idea that Leonard Nimoy was the only original cast member from the beginning. The over-dramatization, the gender roles, the overt-yet-trying-to-be-subtle sexual tension. Yeah, this kind of television was well ahead of its time for sure.

I do think I prefer JJ Abrams reboot of Captain Pike, but overall the series itself is still one of my favorites. The moral lessons of Gene Roddenberry's creation were undeniable, and to this day still ring true. Despite the old school effects, sexist roles, and somewhat hokey storyline presentations, I'm drawn to the series time and again.

Being open and reserving judgement when you first meet a person...taking away a valuable lesson in what it means to be human - these are the things that made Star Trek great. I'd venture to guess that Gene would have been thrilled by JJ Abrams reboots thus far. They incorporate modern technology and vintage aspects of the original series on an alternate timeline. The possibilities are endless, though I'm certain the instalments are finite.

I like that anyone who knows me is aware of my penchant for science fiction and of my love for Star Trek. Whether they themselves love the series and movies or they are just familiar enough to know what I'm talking about when I reference something Trek related, just the fact that they are well aware of my affinity for it makes me smile. I'm a big ass, sci-fi dork and I believe that Star Trek kicks Star Wars' ass, and I don't care if you agree.

Without a doubt, I will go see the newest offering again. In IMAX. Because dude...damn! Nebulas, bad guys, space-age motorcycles, and actors who reprise roles made famous by others with so much accuracy it's crazy! And the tributes....nearly bawled my way out of the theater. Honestly, in my opinion, there isn't a bad Star Trek (ok, ok, with the exception of The Final Frontier. That shit was just plain AWFUL. Everything about Sybok's quest was suggestive of cult brainwashing and religious fanaticism. I essentially discount that movie when I talk about the entire franchise. That, and Voyager. I had zero interest in that series, and thankfully they never made a movie from it.

After watching the very first episode of a series and culture I have come to love, it will be a binge-watching experience like no other. From the beginning with every cheesy, over-dramatic delivery of lines, over the top sexual connotations and total gender bias. I imagine Gene would be all about Lt. Uhura kicking ass and taking names were he alive to see it today. Hey, it's what I tell myself. Anyone who can create a story that promotes equality, acceptance and peace over war would most certainly be open to gender equality, right?

The few hiccups in the world of futuristic space exploration surrounding the depiction of women are being soothed by this rejuvenating reboot of a beloved world. I, for one, am all about fierce females fighting alongside males without inference of their feminity. The damsel in distress bit has long since gone by the wayside, thankfully making room for strong, independent and relatable females who kick ass.This girl has never been and will never be a housewife, and I'll always love Star Trek. Old, new, it's all the same. Empowerment comes from building others up and not tearing them down. When will the world finally see that and practice it?

What A Show It Was

In the back of my mind on hot days, I expect to be treated to Mother Nature's light show. More often than not, she doesn't disappoint. It's worth the near triple digit temperatures to sit in awe of heat lightning, particularly when it is occurring behind clouds.

After being wowed by the 3D effects of Star Trek Beyond (thank you, JJ Abrams!) reality put it's best effort forward creating a display that mimicked a nebula - albeit minus the colors. Most often these shows are short lived, but the hours passed and Mother Nature continued to strut her stuff. And what a show it was.

It may not be the brightest place to view lightning  (see what I did there), giving the whole conductor of electricity thing, but the ocean shore is the perfect venue for taking in such an incredible act. Spring Point Lighthouse, at the edge of the SMCC campus, provided an unobstructed view, complete with the ambiance of a working waterfront. For a heat lightning show, the shore is by far the best place to see it.

In all the craziness this past week has brought and knowing the week that lies ahead, pausing to just appreciate the wonder of the world and all its beauty was just what I needed. Seeing the way the forces of nature go about unleashing their energy reminds me that anything is possible. All I have to do is believe and try. Packing up my life in a week's time? Challenge accepted.

I See More Clearly The Older I Get

The older I get the more understanding and compassion I have for people and their situations. Of course, I have also become less tolerant of other things. I always wondered when I was younger how it is that the older generation got so cut and dry with certain things. It seemed to me they were simply out of touch with their surroundings and just plain ornery because they weren't young anymore. Recognizing my own changes in opinion and point-of-view, I realized now that it really has little to do with either of those.

I'm far from old but I am older than that young version of me. I had no basis for a broad range of consideration. Back then compassion was reserved for those I could relate to, and those I couldn't well, it was too much effort to put myself in their shoes Even if I could have, I'm not sure I would have had the life experience and wisdom to adequately understand. I wouldn't necessarily say that I was close-minded, but I certainly wasn't as open to possibilities and difference as I am today.

Being young, for me, there was a surplus of energy, a carefree approach to nearly everything, and less stress about life and all the changes, pitfalls, and unexpected events. The more experience I gain the more understanding I have. Once you've gone through something you can't forget it; your perception is forever changed or broadened, and your attitude toward the world around you either becomes more jaded or more compassionate. I'd say overall, I've gained more of the latter. Life is far too short to spend carrying negative energy and narrow views.

It is true that there are some things I am still quite opinionated about, and unlike my younger self, I have a solid foundation of reasoning behind those things. It doesn't mean that I will never come to a different way of seeing them, but any potential change in position won't occur with the blowing of the wind. These days I seek out more information and truly work to build a strong understanding of a situation or event before owning my view on it. Sometimes I fail to recognize things that would make a difference, but for the most part, I'm not as quick to weigh in just to be heard.

I thought that I would hate getting older. There are some aspects of the aging process that I don't enjoy and will likely never embrace enthusiastically, but overall I love the experience. I no longer have a limited perspective on the older generation and their relation to the world. The 'one day you'll understand' type of statements that used to infuriate me now make me smile. I do understand and I know that in 10 years there will be more that becomes clear. It's like reading a book; in the beginning, you cannot imagine all that the end will reveal, but as you progress through the pages, how you feel, and what you think slowly change. When you reach a point in the story where you can almost see where the author is taking you, you also develop an appreciation for the fact that having a good idea doesn't mean you won't still be surprised by things as you near the last few chapters. You learn through the story to keep an open mind without even realizing you are.

If we are open to possibilities, we are naturally more compassionate and understanding. Some people are fortunate enough to figure this out early on in their life, the rest of us play catch up for far too long. Growing older is without a doubt the best thing I've experienced and the catalyst for who I continue to become. It's been incredible so far and I know it's just begun.

Absolutely Flabbergasted

Gah! I stepped outside to talk to my neighbors, left zucchini cooking on low, and came back in far later than I expected I would to the smell of burnt food. Thankfully I caught it before anything too terrible happened, aside from the wretched smell permeating every square inch of air in here. And the doors are open!

It's always a good idea to pay attention to things, particularly when you start forgetting little things because you've taken on too much. I have been guilty of burning the candle at both ends more often than not, though the all-consuming issues I am currently dealing with are not of my making. There are only so many things a person can keep in order, where life runs smooth and everything gets done. Throw a couple of situations that have a degree of urgency to them in the mix and then everyday tasks start falling by the wayside — or food gets burned, and that neat and orderly life has turned to chaos.

Right now, there isn't enough time in the day to do all I normally do and look for a new place to live while simultaneously trying to get ready to move. Five days ago my neighbors and I received an email from our landlord expressing potential plans to sell the condo units we all rent. We were told we had 30 days to decide if we wanted to purchase them ourselves before they would be put on the market. None of us want to buy here for a variety of reasons, but I hadn't expected that my condo would be shown four days later, or that we'd be subjected to increased traffic — we are at the end of a quiet residential street, virtually hidden from view. Brokers and potential buyers are driving into the parking lot, idling in the middle of it as they gawk at the buildings, presumably looking for the numbers of units clearly well known (though not listed on the market) to be up for grabs.

We are a social bunch and often gather outside in the nice weather for impromptu get-togethers, though the cars driving in and out and the stress of having been given no time, nor official notice of when we need to move have made it far less enjoyable the past few days. Two of us have school-aged children and all of us are single income households. To be given no formal notice and days later have a real estate broker taking photos and showing units is just not right.

Moving is an expense that most people plan for, from taking the time to find a place to saving the money for security deposits or down payments, and all the other expenses that accompany setting up home in a new place. Displacing six households without proper notice, expecting to be allowed to have prospective buyers in and out of  each unit less than a week after making mention there was a possibility of selling, and leaving a 'cleaning' checklist with each renter is unconscionable.  None of us has chosen to break the lease and move of our own accord, so why on earth should we be expected to go through the expense of professional carpet cleaning, nail hole patching, and general cleaning on top of having to frantically find new homes and attempt to pull together the funds needed to secure that housing?

We are all good tenants, and while I have only lived here three years, my neighbors have been here for seven, ten and even thirteen years. Had any of us chosen to leave, we would have given 30 days notice and done the appropriate exit tasks. We would also have had time prepare mentally, logistically and financially. Having had five days to absorb the shock of it all, I find I'm in a state of incredulous disbelief. The reality that there are three of the four of the six households looking for similar rentals, in a market that isn't offering many affordable or desirable options, just compounds the whole situations. Purchasing isn't an option any of us feel as viable because we aren't being given an appropriate amount of time to search. Buying property for most people, especially single income households isn't something that should be rushed, not to mention the process typically takes at least a month from start to finish, and we clearly aren't going to have that kind of time.

There are times when I feel less badly about going through a tough time when I know I am not alone, but the fact that there are six of us being booted out just makes it all the worse. I feel awful for my own situation for sure, but knowing that my neighbors — people who have become good friends — are struggling to process the news, as well as trying to work while having to schedule rental viewings and find ways to eventually come up with roughly $4,000 in moving expenses with no warning, there is just no comfort in that. Amidst all of this upheaval and stress is the slow realization that the family unit we have formed is being forced apart. This little community of souls who care for each other, help one another and have built friendships together will scatter across the surrounding towns wherever and whenever new shelter is found.

I may have known that this day would come at some point, but I had thought it would be on my terms. The possibility of having it forced on me in such a surprising and increasingly pushy way never crossed my mind. I can't help but be a little heartbroken and wind knocked at the moment. When the first of us moves, it's going to be a sad day.

I'm Still Smiling

I've made it a practice to never underestimate the Universe. It's best to remain open enough to recognize opportunities when they cross your path. Today was a day of this, and while I might not be celebrating just yet, I spent a few moments here and there acknowledging that these two things that presented themselves to me were exactly the kind of things I'd been sending out positive vibes for.

How things end up is something I cannot predict. I do know that it was no coincidence that either of these opportunities came about, as they were almost exactly as I'd been hoping for, and I wasn't about to let them pass without seeking more information. Time will tell if things work out the way I envision, though I'm relatively optimistic they will.

Should things go differently than I imagine, I won't waste time lamenting about it. There is almost always something else down the road that reveals why the first hint of what I hope for doesn't come to fruition, and it's just not in line with being positive and optimistic to stay stuck in the whys and disappointment. There has always been a way to move forward in life and the less time we spend trying to sort out why one circumstance didn't play out the way we wanted, the more ground we can cover making the most of life.

None of this means I don't get upset, but it does mean that I don't spend much time with those emotions. There is always something good to enjoy or celebrate no matter what the day brings, and it is far better to focus on those kinds of things than to miss the chance to be happy because life had it's own ideas on how your day should play out.

I've worked hard on myself and in life, it would be foolish and counterproductive to question 'why me' or allow the negative aspects of my days to drain me of my energy. Choosing to be happy means embracing a positive attitude right to your core. Pain, anger, and disappointment don't dominate my thinking, and they never will. I believe that there is a silver lining in everything and it is almost always easy for me to find. Things might be stressful for me at the moment, but I have no questions that having the right mindset and remaining open to possibilities is what will sort it all out and in relatively short order. This girl knows how to dance in the rain.

Some Days Are Better Than Others

Going through tough times with others isn't always a comfort. Sometimes it just makes it worse. When you are stressed or concerned for the well-being of those around you dealing with the same situation you are dealing with, it can overwhelm you.

In the big picture of living a positive life, I'm still a newbie. I work at it every day and for the most part, I've made incredible strides toward living a happier life. That said, there are things that happen that shake the foundation everything is sitting atop. As good as I've managed to become at looking for that silver lining, sometimes it's a fight to keep it in sight.

It doesn't matter how practiced I have become at juggling circumstances that vie for my attention, the initial weight of things piling up is often harder to carry than the heaviest weights in my home gym. Light always shines through, no matter how bleak things may initially appear, but those moments of heart-pounding uncertainty challenge the strength of my dedication to being positive. I suppose, however, that being positive doesn't mean you stop feeling the disappointment, stress and sadness that life can bring. It's more about how you come out of those things and what attitude you don to keep moving forward.

Life has some seriously shitty moments, without a doubt. When you choose to resist the urge to fall into despair, you enable yourself to recognize the good things around you. That nearly always leads you to seeing solutions or people that can help you get to where you want to be. I think that you find out just how committed you are to living a life where you create and embrace your own happiness when you are challenged and still manage to see possibilities.

Things might not be going exactly the way I had envisioned them at the moment, but I know from experience that something better is just up ahead. I have determination and (for the most part) a good attitude despite how grim things may seem right now. I'm just not willing to trade all the good things I've created for a pity party that gets me nowhere and offers no results. I won't ignore that I'm stressed and upset at how things transpired over the past couple of days, but I refuse to carry those feelings with me into the coming weeks. I am a better person than that and my life hasn't become the amazing existence it has by wallowing in sullness and anger. The light will be shining in on me again as bright as it ever did, all I have to do is continue to remind myself that these clouds can't stick around for long.

Change Doesn't Always Give Warning

Calm waters are rarely free from ripples and waves for too long. Depending on the elements around them they could be little more than a gentle wave or a raging sea crashing upon itself over and over. Life is essentially the same. At least I can say my life is anyway.

New challenges reveal themselves often without warning. How I choose to meet those unexpected bumps in the road are what determine where I will be tomorrow and the days to come. It isn't easy to resist the urge to let stress and woe eek in while I'm trying to see the challenge for what it is. Time and again I find that it takes focused effort to keep from abandoning the positive path I've been on.

If I ever feel as though my days have run a bit on the dull side, it isn't long before I am presented with change, of some sort and usually, it's more than one. Most of the time the outcome is better than before and this makes it easier to adapt. Still, big changes cause a bit of upheaval when they first make themselves known.

In a matter of days I went from dealing with my son preparing to move out on his own and wondering when I will hear about my contract extension at work, to finding out my landlord is selling the six condos he owns in this complex - mine included, and I have roughly 30 days to find a place to move to. It appears the roommate arrangement my son had made isn't panning out as he had hoped, so for the time being, he will remain with us, and three days after finding out the condo is being listed for sale, a potential buyer is already viewing it tomorrow. Life moves fast at times and learning how to process what is going on and adjust quickly is the only way to keep moving forward.

I have come to believe that everything works out in the end, no matter how drastic the changes might appear. There is little reason to fret about circumstances when that energy is better used exploring solutions to bridge the gap any upheavals creating. It isn't as though I don't feel the stress that some of these changes create, without a doubt I do, it's just that I cannot allow that tension and worry to take over my days. I am ineffective if I am consumed by things beyond my control, and lamenting about things that I may not have wanted to occur is a pointless exercise, as what is underway cannot be undone.

Learning to be adaptable is perhaps one of the most important lessons I've learned over the years. Pliability, resourcefulness and the ability to maintain balance during shifts and uncertainty are essential to happiness. I have no intention of allowing the unexpected to diminish all I've worked for and achieved, particularly my happiness. Rather than worry about the impacts of this most recent choppy water, I'm choosing to see the adventure in staying afloat and the challenge of navigating to the other side.

The Years Pass

When I was 11, balance and the promise of better days came with the introduction of the man who became my father. My mother, sister and I had been through a tumultuous period of time at the hands of the person I refer to as her first husband. It was undeniably one of the worst times of my life. As an adult, I look back and am awed by the courage it must have taken for my father-to-be to step into such a hurricane. We all have baggage, for certain, but most of us don't have it precede us like a gale force warning. 

First husband was violent and unrelenting in his efforts to punish my mother when her only wrongdoing was having been foolish enough to ever love him. He chose to leave, for dishonorable reasons, yet somehow thought this entitled him to continue terrorizing us all. How anyone, particularly a parent with a young child of three, could see this craziness and willingly become part of it is something I don't know that I would be able to do. 

This man saw something in my mother that made him decide it was worth the headache and drama. No matter how old I get, I will forever be grateful he did. I gained a sister and was able to experience the love, guidance, and safety of a real father. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, there were many bumps and hiccups in the 11+ years he was in our lives. It was through those tough moments, however, that I learned many of the lessons that prepared me for life. 

I was distrusting of people I didn't know, but I gradually developed an openness and acceptance that allowed me to forge relationships with people I might otherwise have never gotten to know. The positive possibilities were more often my first consideration, recognizing that things hard won are often the most rewarding. Relationships now hold more value because they are the result of conscious choice and not happenstance and convenience.

My father was not perfect, but then none of us are. His sternness was frustrating to a teenage girl, but it taught me that sometimes a parent has to do the tough things to make sure their children grow up capable of navigating the world on their own. He was the balance between my mother and me, and his presence in our lives gave my mother the needed boost to recognize and own her power as a person again. More than all the lessons he brought, more than the love and encouragement he extended, this man made it possible for the woman my mother is to emerge at last. After years of being controlled, demeaned and mistreated, she was safe to see her worth and become all that she was supposed to be. 

As a divorced mother of two, I had always hoped to find someone like my father. Someone who would as accepting, loving and supportive of my sons, as my father had been toward my sister and I. It never occurred to me, until recently, that I could also be that person for someone else's children. My sons are grown and there was no step-father as I once thought there would eventually be. I am seeing a man now who has younger children who I may well meet someday in the near future. Should the day come when I have a bigger role in their lives, I'm confident that I can provide the same kind of love, acceptance, and support that my father gave me. Just knowing that makes me even more grateful to have experienced such a wonderful life with my dad, however short it may have been.

It is impossible to avoid the sadness that the loss of this man evokes. The continued gifts of the lessons and love he provided in such a short time are always with me, no matter how many years pass without him. He's never far from my heart and as painful as that may be at times, it's something I would never wish away. My life and who I am wouldn't have come to be had he not braved a life with a woman who had two daughters and an ex-husband that nightmares are made of. Even twenty-two years without him cannot take any of that away. 

Protests Are Mass Temper Tantrums That Benefit No One

Protesting that obstructs the flow of traffic or becomes chaotic makes no sense to me. How is it that the motivating element is typically the desire to stop hate or incite change, yet the actions people choose to convey their frustrations end up being disruptive and often violent? What happened to two wrongs don't make a right? Seriously, I cannot get behind people who think that causing inconvenience and creating an atmosphere of malcontent will bring about any change for what they claim to represent.

Gathering with others who are fed up with some injustice by carrying signs, obstructing traffic and being generally unruly doesn't convey the message that was likely intended. Unity, real and effective, isn't created out of mob mentality. These protests that impact the livelihood of others — people who may also be outraged by events of late, only serve to further divide us as a society. How does blocking a roadway call the kind of attention that promotes change forth? These human roadblocks prevent the injured/sick from getting the care they need in a timely manner, cause undo stress for those who are trying to make a living and completely distract attention from the cause they claim to be representing.

I had to hide a number of video clips from my newsfeed last night because a throng of misguided activists chose to display their temper tantrum on a completely innocent and unconnected public. Their gathering claimed to be in support of Black Lives Matter, and while that might have been the initial intent, all they succeeded in doing was disrupting the peace and costing the city money because extra law enforcement was needed.

All lives matter. There are awful people in the world who disregard that fact on a daily basis. It isn't right and yes, that needs to change. Taking the frustration we feel out on our fellow man with these protests doesn't bring about that change. It creates more problems than solutions. This anger and outrage would be better applied to actually doing something proactive. As individuals, we can change how we treat others, join together and create peaceful, lasting change without discord and chaos. Fostering tolerance, acceptance, and unity cannot be done by standing in a roadway, shouting, chanting and attempting to push back vehicles of people trying to get to their destination.

Be upset about wrongful deaths. Injustice is wrong and we do need to work together to change it. Work together, not band together in a throng that has no positive purpose. If we want to draw attention to a cause that will effect real change, we need to stop taking actions that completely distract that focus from the real matter.

Finger Tapper From Way Back

Learning to have patience can be a life long challenge. Everything affects us differently, so applying the hard-won coolness you gained from one aspect of life isn't always as simple as it may seem. Some things require an even temperament that isn't like everything else. I'm still figuring out how to pace myself with a thing or two and thankfully I've experienced enough to work my way around irritable moments when things just aren't moving fast enough. Except in traffic. I have nowhere near enough patience for idiot drivers.

Whether it is work, play or something in between, there comes a time where exercising patience is a must. I can't very well go spouting off every thought that crosses my mind when I'm on a conference call that has everyone frustrated. Well, I could, but I might not have a job for long. I've always like a certain balance of space and togetherness when I'm dating someone, though learning to get used to those things occurring a bit out of the norm can be tricky. Of course, I figure that if Blue Eyes can be without his kids every other week, then I can adjust to a similar schedule with us. The thing is I'm aware of the urge to act on those twinges of impatience these kinds of things bring about, so I try to stay ahead of the knee-jerk responses and reign in the whiny tendencies before they get their way.

Do I always succeed? Not even close. I do get over the stress and disappointment of not getting my way relatively quickly, however, and that's far more telling of the effort patience takes. I work from home, have raised two kids on my own, am the sole income and I do most everything that needs to be done in my life myself. It's really no wonder that patience has never been something I've exuded naturally. It's always been a 'move out of the way and let me just get it done' kind of outlook. My youngest son loves to tell people that he never learned to properly carve a pumpkin because I always took over to get it done. The things is, he's not exaggerating even a little. At the time I didn't consider that my idea of helping was actually just impatience butting in and preventing others from having their own learning experience. That shit takes a whole lot to unlearn.

I try to step away from things and ask myself enough questions to ascertain if my feelings of unrest and antsiness are justified or just over the top. More often than not I discover that I'm poised to jump in and get something done when it isn't really my place to interfere with a challenge or lesson that is meant for someone else to work through. Without feeling the frustrations and overwhelming fears that come when trying to accomplish something, the ability to really appreciate a win is greatly diminished. Who am I to take that from anyone; particularly the people I know and love? Patience is a tool that keeps the balance around us and reminds us that life is more than what we see, hear or feel. We'd do well to remember to focus on our own paths and challenges, and stop letting the pace of someone else's drive us mad.

Make It Go Away!

It baffles me how after living with a natural redhead's complexion for my whole life I still manage to suffer sunburn. For the next day, I will grit my teeth until the sting of this lobster red skin on my feet cools to normal. It's my own fault (clearly) for not making certain the sunscreen covered every inch of my exposed skin. The next time I think it's too much work to brush the sand from my skin to apply sunscreen, someone please kick me and tell me to just do it.

Taking chances and throwing caution to the wind is something most of us need to do from time to time, otherwise, we risk losing sight of the importance of things. Of course, this kind of reminder should be undertaken with eyes wide open. If there are repercussions from enjoying ourselves without deliberation, it would be best if they are worth it. A few hours in the sun with a great friend, relaxing is definitely worth a few hours of stinging pain from sunburnt feet.

I got sunburned because I was too involved in catching up to properly apply sunscreen. Now, this could have ramifications down the road, but in the immediate future, it's a bit of discomfort. I can't imagine suffering consequences from playing Pokemon Go. The absolute lack of observation people have since this game became available is astounding. I thought things were bad watching people text and try to walk, but this game takes the cake. There appears to be a complete lack of awareness that they are still actually in the world with non-Pokemon playing people, resulting in irritable situations. Either they are completely ignoring their friends or they are suddenly rendered incapable of existing for two point two seconds without checking their phone for Pokemon. It's something I think should be featured on My Strange Addiction. I seriously don't get the hype.

I don't pay attention or take care enough to be thorough in the glaring sun, I pay the price. People playing a game that affects their work life, social life and the safety of themselves and those around them are stunned and confused about how it could possibly be their fault when something goes awry...like getting hit by a car or threatened with trespassing. Far too many people are oblivious to boundaries and proper consideration, and a game that encourages venturing onto property that isn't their own and potentially wrought with dangerous elements just makes it all the more precarious. I have nothing against games, but when something consumes even the most basic ability to function among the rest of us...yeah, I have to draw a line.

It Doesn't Take A Whole Lot Of Fanfare

Oh, the in-between moments. They are easy to try and skip past, and I spent a fair amount of my life ignoring all the little magical things that happen in between the big stuff. I wish I had changed my thinking sooner, but I'm happy that I came around at all. There is nothing quite like living a full life and that isn't possible without those times that we'd readily pass through without paying attention.

The most average of days have dotted my life rather frequently. Some of my favorite memories of my sons and I were on days such as those. Unplanned, lacking any real excitement, but I chose to focus on the conversations and interactions that tied my memory to those otherwise forgettable hours. Even the times that seem to have no real purpose can have enormous potential if you just stop looking ahead long enough to see it.

I imagine that more than half of all the memories I have would never have graced me had I continue to rush through the minutes, hours and days that would ultimately produce them. All those impromptu laughs would be forever silent, the energy generated by excitement and fun would never have been created, and all those times I fell in love with life all over again would have eluded my heart. There doesn't need to be a lead-up, pomp and circumstance, or a banner event to hold my attention, just the ability to appreciate whatever the day holds, big, small or indifferent. It doesn't matter to me if the amazement and wonder last a few minutes or a lifetime if it is strong enough to produce a memory, it is well worth embracing.

Good Things That Keep Giving

I think that once in a blue moon I realize that maybe something in my life is working out well - without much conscious awareness from me because I finally let all the right elements in. Once I realize I've been experiencing something beneficial, however, I'm always aware of it. Aware and conscious of my efforts to keep that good thing going strong. I have to laugh at myself because the truth in whatever it is was plain to see despite how long I may have taken to recognize it.

Before I knew it, working out became part of my schedule and it didn't require the effort it did in the beginning. The gains I've experienced are the tell-all giveaway that this somthing is a positive change in my life. While I was actively on the lookout for physical changes, I hadn't anticipated the reinforcement of positive energy and determination. It took awhile to recognize those things, but since I have, I've made certain to apply them in every area of life that they are useful.

Being active is essential to me. I grew up in a time that didn't always encourage fitness. Women were still viewed as weak, lifting weights was for men and my elders were old before their time. I remember thinking as a kid, looking at photos of my grandparents in their mid-40s, that I didn't want to ever get to that age. That generation aged themselves long before their time. My mother is now 62 and she doesn't look as old as her mother did at 40 something. It's incredible how we have managed to hold onto youth longer, in a sense, because we are focusing on health and fitness these days. I can't speak for statistics and I know that there are still far too many people who do, but smoking seems less of an issue with people my age and younger. Without a doubt, that is a big factor in looking younger.

Reaping the benefits of hard work and focused energy, I often wonder if this particular path will continue to yield surprises that better my existence. Beyond the stronger and healthier body, the apprecitation for routine, and the mental clarity that I currently enjoy, is there more that can be gained down the road from continuing to challenge myself? I'm willing to bet there is. I believe that good things in life continue to produce positive effects, so long as we continue to appreciate and nurture them. This is definitely one good thing that I won't soon slack off on, quite the contrary, I will likely increase my dedication and diligence. Being better than I was yesterday will always be a good thing worth holding onto.

Finding Words Proves Difficult

I'm still saddened by the events of the past few weeks. There's anger, too, but mostly just an overwhelming sadness with an almost desperate hope that the senseless violence will end. The vengefulness and retaliatory actions only fuel the hate machine. None of this is justified and it needs to stop.

The world doesn't stop for any of us. Somehow, some way we have to find a way to trudge through these sad and difficult times and continue finding things around us to celebrate. If we allow ourselves to be consumed by the effects of hatred, hate itself will take root inside of us, and the spiral will continue to spin forever down.

Even in the midst of tragedies and senseless killing, we need to be able to preserve our own balance and be present in our own lives. As much as we are in this together, we are also at the core alone. Without balance, we continue to witness and live through unthinkable horrors, helpless to do anything about it.

I Don't Even Know Where I'd Begin

I avoid watching the news. There was a time when it was nearly all I watched. Columbine. 9-11, the war on terror...I couldn't break away during those events, and my outlook on life and general mood were altered greatly. I read enough to stay informed now, but it is rare that I sit in front of the television for the onslaught of sensationalism and exploitation.

This century has gotten off to an incredibly violent start. I wonder how history lessons in 60 to 70 years will treat us. We invaded, bombed and occupied other countries, we shoot up our own schools and vie for which life matters more, black or blue. We finally legalize marriage for all, only to create the transgender bathroom debate. We say that we want change, real change, yet we saddle ourselves with impossibly bleak choices for our country's leader. We are outraged and take to social media to let everyone know, but do nothing about these ills that divide and cripple us as a nation. A century from now history lessons will not be kind to us and we are deserving of all that will be written.

This country will not be great again because it was never great to begin with. We were founded on the blood of Native Americans, bought and sold other humans and allowed greed to be the top motivator in life. No, this country was far from ever being great. Don't get me wrong, I know that in comparison to other countries, we have it good here. I'd still never call this nation great. We are great at glossing over the truth, telling a distilled and twisted version of history to the new generations, involving ourselves in others' wars, distracting the general public from the issues by pointing attention to other nations, and refusing to admit just how serious the issues of violence, crime and drugs really are here.

I've resigned myself to just continuing to live life the way I think it should be lived and surround myself with others who feel the same. Maybe someday there will be enough people like us to change the ugly things this country stands for, the heinous things its citizens do and the overall direction we appear to be going in. Maybe.

I Talk. A Lot. But I've Learned To Listen, Too.

I talk a lot. I've always been chatty. As my mother tells it, I started carrying on conversations at a year-and-a-half old and never stopped. My gift for gab has become a bit more refined and self-controlled over the years, but conversation is never far from me.

Wherever I go people happen. What I mean to say is that I either strike up a discussion with random strangers or people seem to hone in on my location and start talking to me. I would say that despite my lack of desire to engage in pleasantries outside of work, my energy is such that I find myself often at the mercy of someone far more gifted in the speaking words rapidly department than I. Maybe this is my karma for being so precocious when I was young, or maybe I am just that person who is destined to be a listening ear and provide company to those who need it in their lives. Either way, it would appear that short of removing myself from the general public, I'm going to continue experiencing all manner of interactions when I'm congregating with the masses.

I realize that anyone who happens to be out and about with me is subjected to this fate by default. It doesn't often occur to me to warn people that this is a likely occurrence in the course of our explorations and shenanigans, though anyone who's been out with me more than once has likely come to this realization on their own. Call it a career-related hazard or call it dumb luck, I'm the most likely person I know to end up in a lengthy conversation with someone I don't know and will probably never see again.

I'm not complaining. I am curious by nature and have a genuine interest in other people's lives. The other side of that is I've learned how to sit on my own thoughts and resist the urge to interject out of courtesy, as well as the desire to end the conversation at some point. My talkative days are far from over, but they are certainly more within my conscious control than they ever were at 10. Whether I'm truly interested in what someone is saying or I just feel like I need to listen because maybe there aren't many conversational opportunities for this person, my life is more interesting and more well-rounded because of it. I don't think this is a trait that I will wish away anytime soon.

Customer Service Seems To Be MIA These Days

As much as I profess to hate people in general (we are assholes, after all) I've developed the ability to smooth over rough situations that could otherwise have ended badly. Being empathetic and positive are essential if you work with the public; essential, but sometimes incredibly difficult to muster. Customer Service is a term that is overused and generalized, as it is part of nearly every customer facing/interactive job. The problem is, it's also a lost art.

My sons have complained that I gripe when we are out, particularly in a restaurant, and they find it embarrassing. Well, first off, as a parent it is my right and duty to embarrass them in public. Second, pointing out that I specifically asked for 'no onions' because I have an allergy, only to be served a dish laden with them isn't unreasonable. The embarrassment should be on the server/establishment as food allergies are serious business, not to mention that it shows the lack of attention to customers. Now, I completely understand that people make mistakes, but when it consistently happens at a particular restaurant, it's time to stop my patronage. While the boys may dread dining out with me, the fact is they are getting a lesson in what they should expect customer service-wise.

I ran out to grab lunch on Sunday and finding my first choice was far busier than I had time for, I opted to procure sustenance at another nearby eatery. From the moment I walked through the door I was grading the counter person's lack of professionalism. Yes, I am aware that food service is one of the most underappreciated and grueling jobs with the least financial compensation, but still. Reciting the days sales of lobster rolls, while on the phone and ignoring customers in line was strike number one. Attempting to explain (complete with glossed over apology) that it was the boss was the second. And this was to the people in line ahead of me. I should have walked out then, but pressed for time I held out hope that things might improve. When it was my turn, I inquired about the lobster rolls. I'd just been treated to a conversation that regaled their popularity, however inappropriate it was for me to be privy to, after all. Counter guy hemmed and hawed, grabbed the sign advertising said lobster rolls from some place under the counter and proceeded to tell me that while yes they did serve them, they weren't serving anymore for the day. He paused and added that he thought they were all out. I bit my tongue. In my head I was having a conversation with him - You 'think' you're out? You mean you aren't going to check? Of course, I just wanted to get something to eat, so I didn't say a word, I just ordered something else on the menu.

As if that wasn't irritating enough, when I ordered, he looked at me like I had three heads and proceeded to go back to the cook (still well within visibility and earshot) and mock my order. Like seriously mocking me. Now, if you follow this blog at all or know me personally, you're aware that I am on a strict elimination diet. No complex carbs - at all. I understand that it may seem odd to those who aren't familiar with it, but honestly when you order food a specific way, shouldn't it just be accepted and carried out without question? The menu consisted of salads, sandwiches, and tater tot concoctions. Granted, I knew this going in, but I figured I could just order something sans bread and condiments. I certainly hadn't anticipated being mocked in front of the rest of the patrons. Counter guy came back to the register (I'd already paid) and asked if I wanted my choice on lettuce. This would have been great customer service in my eyes, had he not just made a big show of my order moments before. I seized the opportunity to briefly explain that I was on a restrictive diet, and I know the order sounded bizarre, but I couldn't eat the bread or any condiments. It was lost on him based on his facial expression. I left resolute to not return, though I should have grabbed a business card and contacted the manager. I don't like to stir shit up, but basic customer service is the simplest tool to use when you interact with customers. I don't understand how businesses fail so miserably to teach it. It should be a non-negotiable part of working with the public.

Due to circumstances beyond control, a co-worker of mine was unable to make it into the barber shop for a client. This client was waiting for 45 minutes by the time I came in to start my shift. I had had a cancellation and was able to accommodate him. The absolute first thing I did was to apologize for his long wait. We serve complimentary adult beverages and while we normally limit them to one, he was offered a second as well as an add-on service, free of charge. Small gestures really, but worth their weight in gold when you want to ensure repeat business. I chatted with this client and despite knowing my clients were there waiting (albeit quite early) I did not rush through the services. Most of our conversation was on random parts of life, but we started with his unfortunate experience and long wait. By allowing him to vent without attempting to gloss the incident over, he felt valued. We discussed the city's parking issues (which ultimately was the factor in his stylist's not coming in) and though a reason was given for the wait, it wasn't delivered in a way that minimized his experience. This client left the barbershop less stressed and assuaged. Winning this client, in particular, over was no small feat. He works in a similar environment, so like me, he has high expectations for customer service. Without a doubt, I know three things from this interaction: 1) he will be returning, 2) he will be in my chair, and 3) I should probably consider teaching customer service because I am highly skilled at it.

The biggest problem today, aside from the fact that many businesses don't instill customer service expectations or offer training, to begin with, is that people (employees) immediately take a customer's bad experience as a personal attack. Once they feel as though they're being questioned or targeted, all focus and concern of the customer's experience being positive go out the window. Granted, not every negative customer situation is the fault of the establishment; some people are impossible to please, but that is no excuse for a total lack of professionalism. Ego is detrimental to customer facing positions. Pride is beneficial, but only if it is about a job well done. It's so disheartening to see less and less of this in the world. It doesn't matter how amazing the food is or how great the goods are, without customer service a customer's experience is either memorable for all the wrong reasons (and word of mouth is still the number one advertisement) or so forgettable they won't think to bring their business back again. As a patron who understands being on the other side of the register (so to speak) I find there are fewer and fewer places I'm willing to frequent these days. I am happy, however, that there are establishments who value the customer and prove it by exercising the simplest, yet most essential practices known as great customer service.

Own What You're Good At And Work It

How many things do you have in your life that have the potential of changing it for the better? I don't mean things as in material objects, but things as in talents, traits and abilities. Can you identify them? Chances are you know what you're good at, you know how to use what you know to move forward, but just how often do you utilize it all?

All too often, our potential goes as unrecognized, sitting in the dark collecting dust just like most of our dreams. Life has a way of busying us to the point that we forget there is anything else. Unfortunately, most of us will realize it all far too late and there will only be wishing and lamenting before we exit this world.

I don't want to leave this life not knowing what I'm capable of, or worse yet, knowing what I could have done and then facing the reality that I never even tried. I've lived a good life up to this point. While it hasn't been heavy on the awesome until recent years (with exceptions, of course), I've gotten better at seizing opportunities when they present themselves. I'm still working on a few that, thankfully haven't faded away into the past, though I'd do well to remind myself more often that believing in myself is just as beneficial as being capable and talented.

When you acknowledge what you can do, how far you can go, the only thing left to do is to believe you can keep at it, no matter how long it takes. There are reasons and lessons that come with challenges, goals, and dreams. No rules are written that state how long something should take to accomplish, nor are there any lists of what each and every one of us should do with whatever tools and abilities we have. As individuals, our journeys take us wherever we need to go to be ready for appreciating what we achieve as completely as possible. For some that could be weeks, the rest of us may not reach that finish line for years.

As we move through our days, it's important to remember that we have all we need to enact changes when it becomes difficult, or we feel like we are just treading water in the same spot. Knowing what we are capable of can mean the difference between staying stuck and never progressing, and changing directions to make some kind of forward progress. We are ever-evolving as is life, and it is far too short to spend it in a type-cast role.

Hey Asshole, Can You Stop Setting Off Fireworks In Your Yard And Leave It To The Professionals

I'm not a fan of fireworks. I get that most cities and towns across the country have displays in celebration of Independence Day and throughout the year ballparks and theme parks shoot off their own bright and booming explosions of color. Outside of these things, which I can typically avoid by simply not being present, the constant barrage of noise from surrounding neighborhoods is unnecessary.

Aside from the fact that I just don't enjoy the jarring experience of suddenly hearing sounds akin to gunfire, I empathize with veterans suffering from PTSD and animals alike. The need to fire off random rounds of noise-making for fun is juvenile, at best. The fact that Maine legalized possession and use of fireworks by its residents still makes no real sense to me. Put aside the nuisance factor, there's still the safety aspect. How many people get injured and maimed due to inexperience, lack of knowledge and outright stupidity? And who in the hell thought that piece of legislature was okay to pass? Fireworks, no matter how small they are, are explosives. These things should only be handled by trained professionals.

Statistics state that an average of 10,500 injuries were the result of fireworks in 2014. Over 7,700 of these injuries were treated in the weeks just prior, during and just after the 4th of July. Children lost fingers, parts of their hand, and have the highest rate of emergency treatment. Think that sparklers are a safe bet? From my own experience with my youngest son and ex-husband (the porch swing was scorched and Riley's little hand was burned - thankfully, not seriously), they are anything but. There were 1400 sparkler-related injuries in 2014 (cpsc.gov, 2014). In comparison to the nation's nearly 319 million, these numbers may seem small, but the issue isn't how many people get injured, it is the fact that it is possible to happen at all.

This is a completely different argument than firearms. There is absolutely no benefit to untrained citizens possessing fireworks. They do not protect a person from anything or anyone, and they are inherently dangerous. The noise they create is traumatizing to children, animals and veterans. How selfish to set them off without ever considering the impact the noise has on those around you. Of course, that is the new American way. Selfish, arrogant, careless behavior. A nation of narcissists.

I am adamantly against the general public being able to procure fireworks. While there are some who may be more responsible than others, the attitude toward these explosives is quite lax. People leave them within reach of children, set them off around children, don't properly pick up and discard the refuse or defective duds, leaving them for animals and others to find and potentially get hurt by. There is little to no thought about the impact the noise and lights can cause to others in the immediate vicinity and the repercussions of it all lingers far longer than the smoke.

I am all for celebrating the birth of our country, the day we won our independence from England. I just think we should leave the explosive displays up to those who have at least some amount of training and where fire departments are standing by. There would be far less injury and it would be much easier for those who are adversely affected by the noise to avoid being nearby - or at the very least prepare for it. I wish that more people would consider the ramifications of their actions.

Until that day, I'll continue to stand against open sales of fireworks and likely avoid participating in that part of this and all future 4th of July celebrations. I don't need the shock and awe to realize what a priviledge it is to have been born in a free nation. No matter how many idiots I'm surrounded by.

Self-inflicted Over-obligation

My intention may have been to only step away briefly, but it appears I've let far too much time pass without returning to what needs to be finished. Such is typical of me. I'm not sure that I will conquer the procrastinator in me anytime soon.

It's all avoidable, this misuse of time. Of course, the obligations and responsibilities demand focus and energy, and I choose to spend some of my less structured time working out. The remaining time is typically whiled away in the company of people I enjoy being with. Socializing and bonding are activities that I find I'm a better person for engaging in. Were I to bury myself in constant screen time (between work and writing), I'd likely be an antisocial wench. I enjoy my solitude but have no desire to be a recluse.

Far from complaining, I own the lack of writing I have been doing outside of this blog. Two months is far too long to leave things idle. It's long overdue, sitting on my ass with a whiskey neat and my laptop. I think this week is as good as any to rectify the situation.

A Word Or Two About Possibility

Season 1 is in the bag. My addiction is full on and I cannot get enough GoT. Sleep is also something I suspect I will not be getting enough of if this binge watching takes over my sensibilities.

I imagine, sometime in the future, people will be able to immerse themselves in fictitious worlds for real. Nothing would surprise me given how life tends to be influenced and created from what was once art. Cell phones, computers, video chats and VR games are all things someone dreamt up long before technology existed to make them a reality. We live in a time of innovation and constant improvement to the capabilities that exist, it's not much of a stretch to believe the impossible will one day be possible, too.

When we are so willing to appreciate the magic of movies and the visions of books, it amazes me that we cannot be as open and positive of our own potential and effort. So conditioned to look for greatness outside of ourselves, we are missing a wealth of possibilities each and every one of us could bring to our own lives and that of the world. It is the saddest thing to know so many dreams die unfulfilled, that so much progress and good is never recognized.

It's fun to live in someone else's imagination for a time, but we should never prefer it to that of our own.

It's A Bullshit Situation And I'm Not Buying In

I don't like politics. This particular election lead-up has done nothing to change that fact, except to make my loathing deeper. I am not left and I am not right. I am a person who was born an American, which gave me the right to voice my opinion upon reaching the age of maturity.

The problem with that is my voice isn't heard unless the results happen to be the way I chose to vote. There is no majority there is only an outdated and unfair process. We the People is a figment of our imaginations. When the choice we are saddled with is 'the lesser of two evils' it's still an evil and not a true choice. We have been taught over decades of propagandas that exercising our right to vote is essential. While at the core of that I believe it to be true, the reality that prevents genuine choice is that most presidential hopefuls will make promises that are wholly against the interests of this country and it's citizens to better fund their campaign and increase their chances of attaining the White House.

It sickens me to no end that so many are willing to be led by lies and false rhetoric. I refuse to choose between two evils, and while my voice may not be heard in the way the current system is designed, my choice will be mine. I will not cave to claims of 'wasting' my vote, I will not compromise my own morals and beliefs by picking the ills I could live with most. What kind of a voice is that to have? I'd rather live in silence than lie to myself with a choice I know is wrong for me.

I will be relieved to an extent when the end of the most ridiculous circus act has arrived. When insanity and layers of woven lies are what we are served, why are we not demanding better? If you are voting in the spirit of 'the lesser of two evils' you're not really voting at all. You are kowtowing to same tired system that has just repackaged the status quo and convinced you it's real change. How sad that this nation is made up of sheep that go wherever the herders push.