Probably the biggest reason I don't often bar hop is that the people I encounter, more often than not guys, are ridiculously drunk and all too free with their hands. It's obnoxious and unwelcome. Absolutely nothing I do invites this personal space invasion. Nothing.
My preference, when I'm out with friends, is to go into wallflower mode as soon as possible. There are exceptions, depending on who I'm with and where we find ourselves, but when making stops at a few places, I like to stand off to the side. Watching interactions and comical events, it's far better to just lean back against a wall and quietly observe.
I've always described myself as outgoing; an extrovert. It appears that I'm selective about when that happens. Most of the time I occupy the fringe. Until someone steps in and yanks me out. I don't appreciate it, at all.
I'd much rather have someone come up and talk to me, instead of coming up and groping me. What's worse is that I literally freeze when I'm cornered this way. I curl up around myself and look for a 'non-confrontational' way out of the situation. In my head, I know I should speak up and move, but I just can't. I hate that my fight or flight response just sits there and tries to wrap around itself. I would have thought that having been brutally raped, facing my rapists in court, and putting together a damn good life despite those things, that I'd be able to defend myself adequately. Instead, I'm a fucking shrinking violet.
My current defense mechanism? Look awkwardly uncomfortable, curl my shoulders in, wrap my arms around myself, and hope the offending party can read social cues. Clearly, I need to find a better way. This doesn't work with drunk people.
Thankfully, my friends rarely leave me to my own defenses and rescue me relatively quickly. At some point, I'd like to be able to hold my own without question. Until then I won't soon give up those caring people who bless me with their friendship, and who flank me dutifully when we venture out at night.
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