Distracted

On my hike with my youngest son today, I started to think about how much time I've wasted worrying about things that I cannot change or control. It's all but impossible to avoid worrying, my mind has more thoughts pass through it than I ever even realize. I can't do much about most of them, but I can stop those pesky negative ones that try to disguise themselves as tentative and concerned.

Trying to concentrate on spending time with my son and seeing all that was around me, was a constant effort. Until I unplug from most things in life, I don't realize just how busy my brain is. Mixed in with the birds chirping, ducks quacking, waterfall roaring, and the occasional voices of others around us were thoughts of dinner, work, and a host of random thoughts such as 'what ifs', 'now whats', and 'did I turn my flat iron off'. Even when we sat to eat lunch, I couldn't just be in the moment. It's not that I didn't enjoy the day; I saw a number of things and the two of us had good conversations, I could just feel the preoccupation of other thoughts creeping in.

There are a lot of things that become effortless over time, but I have the distinct feeling that maintaining the overall theme of the thoughts we actively think is something that is always being adjusted. It doesn't seem likely that a redirection I may make today is one I won't have to repeat several times down the road. Maybe the act of recognizing overall negative or self-defeating thoughts, pausing, and putting a more positive spin on them will eventually become second nature. After all, that kind of routine can be applied to just about anything that crosses our minds.

I think that I will attempt to bring my focus back to whatever, wherever and whomever I am with, regardless if I must make the conscious mind shift fifty times or more, the next time we go exploring in the woods. I will also leave the cell phone in the car. And to appease my son, we may forego capturing the moment via camera, leaving just our minds to preserve the memories.