In my lifetime I have heard the phrase "you are who you hang around" more times than I can count. When I was young, this saying was an annoyance to me, because I thought (particularly during my teen years) that I was above any such influences my parents thought I was exposing myself to. As an adult, and a mother, I have come to realize just how relevant and true those words really are.
I believe that we are all energy, and more specifically we are all connected. What we do and how we think directly impacts our lives. The more positivity I put forth, the more good things and great people I have in my life. It is the simplest of truths. I spent so long fighting this concept, and looking back there is no question why I was miserable for years. Once I chose to feel happy, see good, and project a more positive presence amazing gifts appeared.
One of my truest fortunes has always been my best friend. She has been a constant light, even in my darkest days. Whenever I am around her (and truth be told, even a text from her has the same effect), I radiate positive energy. I discovered that by holding onto that energy, I was finally able to attract others like her and rid my immediate life of negative people. I'd heard it said that as we age we don't have the need or desire to make new friends, but in the past few years I have found that to be untrue. My circle of friends is a stellar group of like-minded, uplifting people, and I owe all of it to that dearest, bestest friend. Without her, I may never have understood the benefit and importance of surrounding myself with compassionate, bright, talented, and giving individuals.
The other blessing, and most important, bestowed upon me has always been my family. I would say that for a majority of my existence, though I have always known how incredible they are, I didn't relate the "you are who you hang around" principle to our close-knit brood. I suppose I just took for granted that families are uplifting and accepting. Recently though, my view has become more focused.
During my grandfather's funeral on Saturday (and for a better understanding of how everything relates as I go on, he was my grandfather for 19 years by choice as he was my step-father's dad), as I looked around the church I was brought to tears. The pews were packed full and at least a third of those paying their respects were my family. The reason this was such a powerful moment was because they were my mother's siblings, my cousins...people who in other families may not actively interact with "in-laws". Even more telling of the man who had lived an honest and positive life, was that my mother's previous in-laws (my father's family) had also come. This lack of division, that willingness and second nature to blend as a family has always influenced my inclusive nature.
Throughout the day I was approached by people I knew and those I'd only just met expressing their amazement and appreciation for my sons' respectable and welcoming demeanor. They remarked at how mature they both are, at how helpful, engaging, and proper they behaved. Given that they are 18 and 15, my expectations are of nothing less, but I had never truly stopped to consider how others see them. Over and again I heard that it was apparent they were raised well. A compliment to my mothering, but as I considered my previous recognition of my amazing family, I also recognized for the first time that without these relatives, my sons may not have turned out to be the young men who garner such compliments and accolades. It takes an energy field of mass proportions to generate the amount of positivity and radiance that collective, we are.
My family thrives and prospers because we choose to embrace the good things around us. So much so that other admirable families have come into our lives to magnify life's meaning. When I look around at those who are revered and those who always seem to have life figured out, the common theme is that they themselves are generators of positive light, and are surrounded by more of the same. It matters not what things you have, or what level of success you may achieve, if you do not have this kind of support and love in your life. What you do and what you think are the very magnets that attract the world around you. I can say that I am on the best path, thanks in no small part to the people who make up my world. This is a phenomenal life, indeed.
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