Tossing And Turning

I rarely have issues sleeping. Every so often I might have a hard time falling asleep or wake up and not be able to fall right back to sleep, but it is not often that I toss and turn all night. Last night, I couldn't fall asleep for anything. I don't believe I actually made it to any kind of real, deep sleep either. It's going to be an interesting day.

There's the distinct possibility the black iced coffee with 2 shots of espresso I had yesterday around noon might be responsible. The thing is, I drink coffee far later than that quite often and never have an issue sleeping. The explanation I like less, and a more likely cause, is that I've hit a hormonal change  — and one I am not keen on truly acknowledging as possible, let alone happening.

By no means am I saying I've hit the big M, but there's little point in denying that that precursor to the grand show is threatening to start its decade-long stint before big sister takes the stage to show her how it's really done. Of course, other than this bout of insomnia, the only other sign I've experienced is night sweats once in a great while. I could well be jumping to conclusions, though I know that I am on the cusp of female hell one way or another.

My hope is that this period in life ends up being far less obnoxious than I've heard from others. If my tolerance of pain is any indication or has any bearing on how I will withstand this mid-life bullshit, I may fare better than many of my gender. However things choose to develop, this girl will be continuing to exercise and eat as healthy as possible, seeking balance in nature and from natural sources.

I'm hoping that last night was an anomaly and quite possibly, it was. Rather than denying the possibilities, I will seek to embrace the most positive of them all. Forty-four isn't old and I've got a lot of energy and stamina left to burn. The reality of female biology aside, the big M can stay where she is, this mama isn't slowing down just yet.