There are so many things I could say about my grandmother of 21 years. The problem over the past few days since she left this world is that there are just too many thoughts and memories swirling around in my head for me to adequate organize and write about her. There is never a perfect way to eulogize those we love. We can never include everything we think or feel about them. Our best effort will always fall short of what they deserve.
My family is eclectic. Over the years, I have been blessed with siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, as well as a stepfather that I have no biological connection with. To be welcomed and accepted by families you were not born into is one of the most amazing gifts imaginable. Creating a family by choice — this is an epic example of love.
Nat was so down to earth and genuine — these were the first things I noticed about her when I met her, and they are the first things that come to mind when I reflect on the last two decades of knowing her. She had a big heart and a memorable laugh. I can still hear it. She and grandpa Shine were honest, hardworking and exceptionally caring people. A bit more reserved and low-key than most of my family, they never seemed overwhelmed by the volume we can raise. Over a short period of time, Nat went from having three grandchildren to having six with a great-grandchild on the way.
While my relationship with Gram Nat developed on its own, watching how she embraced and loved my sons from the start of their lives added a depth that would never have been possible otherwise. My sons were born into this family of biology and choice, and never question their roles regardless of the connection. The only great-grandparents they have ever known are those who they share no biology with. And to hear these wonderful people talk about my kids to others and in general conversation — well, no-one would be the wiser if they weren't aware of how we came to be family.
Whether it was a special occasion or just a random get-together, the smell of freshly baked pies was always a guarantee with Nat — oh, how I miss those amazing fruit pies. She was quite comfortable moving around a kitchen, in fact, not that long ago when she and I were having a conversation watching my mother bustle around her own kitchen and Gram remarked that she missed being able to bake and cook. When she stayed with her son (my stepfather) and my mother, she often preferred to sit at the kitchen island while my mom cooked.
The family gatherings will be different without her. There is a definite sadness at the thought of never seeing this wonderful woman again. Her quiet presence will be missed. No more hearty hugs, kisses on the cheek, or entertaining and enjoyable conversations. My heart breaks for my stepfather and aunt, as their already small biological family has shrunk yet again. If the loss I feel after having 21 years of love, influence and laughter are this intense, I cannot fathom the extent of their grief. A lifetime of memories that spanned over 68 years for Bonnie and nearly 64 for Michael — to have been blessed with the presence of their mother for so long, is incredible, though it makes it all the more difficult to say goodbye.
By all accounts, Nat's 88 years were full, lively and produced many memories for those whose lives she touched. As saddened by the loss of this truly wonderful woman as I am, I will forever count myself as fortunate to have known and been loved by her. The Universe was most definitely smiling on my sisters and I the day Nat came into our lives. Rest easy Gram, your presence is forever etched in our hearts.
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