It Isn't Always About Me And I'm Good With That

Letting other people help isn't something I come by naturally. I don't like the idea of inconveniencing anyone, just as much as I am not thrilled with someone having the impression I can't handle things on my own. There are times when someone lending a hand has more to do with how they see themselves than with how they see you, however. Sometimes, you just need to allow others to be useful and fulfill whatever need they have inside of them, no matter how independent you happen to be.

My stepfather is loading up his lawnmower and coming to mow my lawn. I'd been meaning to call a lawn care company to have it cut so that I could maintain it with a battery-powered push mower, but the past two weeks have been ridiculously busy. When he first suggested it, I was resistant. I didn't want him going through the hassle of bringing his equipment here and I initially felt like maybe he and my mom thought I couldn't manage it by myself.

Nearly as fast as I had the thought it was gone. After all these years, my stepfather knows I do things myself - he wasn't remotely concerned about it not getting done. He wanted to do something useful. Ultimately, at the end of the day, this is what it is about. For months his life has revolved around visiting his mother in a nursing home multiple times a day. He and my mother were so busy with Gram Nat's end of life care that when it all stopped time was just dangling out there waiting to be filled.

As much as letting him come and mow my lawn is to give him something to do, it is also the way that my stepfather shows his love. He is capable, he is a doer, and when he cares, loves and respects someone he does whatever he can to show it. I'd be foolish to push back against something like that, just as I'd be crazy to refuse a hug from my best friend.

There is a bigger picture to most every situation we find ourselves in. Just how observant and open we are to it will determine the value we carry away in the end. Maybe I'm completely off-base about why my stepfather offered to mow my overgrown lawn, maybe I'm half-right. The important thing is that I stopped my usual insistence of independence long enough to consider that it might not be about me and that I am capable of recognizing things beyond the self.