Too Distracted For My Own Good

I think having to recommit to a good habit or particular change is often harder than having made the change in the first place. Falling out of step with a routine that was beneficial is also quite maddening. For me, I know that I'm only cheating myself when I don't stay on track. The moment I step off the road I'm on, I risk losing all the ground I've gained, and I'll have to start from square one again.

It's likely the reason I put off doing what I know I need to do to turn back in the direction I was headed. I'm never excited to own my failures and I take far too long rationalizing and planning instead of getting right back into it. In other words, I procrastinate. The absolute wrong approach to sticking with change.

There are a couple of things in life that have long been subjected to the waning and resurgence of my focus and dedication. Writing, specifically one book, has born the brunt of my distracted mind and inconsistent attitude. Looking back now, it appears my work comes and goes in waves. Whether it be weeks, months or only days, when I'm creative, I'm on a roll. When I put it off, it's easy to disconnect almost completely.

This is a dance I've done with myself far too often and I know it oh so well. The day or two off has turned into months and all the while I've maintained the intention to get back to it only to see more days pass by, squandered in their potential. I busy myself here, but I know even this is just an excuse to stall setting up that old routine again. Without a doubt, there has been quite a lot going on that is a legitimate reason for not having made progress, but in life, there will always be something poised to stand in the way of achieving goals. How we work our way around those things is what sets us apart from those who never try. I'm still pushing my way through to figure that all out.

There will likely always be something that tempts me to put aside the things I need to do, or something that makes achieving progress toward some end more difficult than it ought to be. I suppose I just need to remember to address whatever the issues are without abandoning the work I've already invested my time, energy and soul into. Breaks are supposed to be refreshing and recharging, not extended vacations from it all. This current vacation has to end and a new routine has to replace the bad habits.