Today I'm happy that I clearly have a high tolerance for pain. My proctologist (yes, I have one of those) told me I can carry that torch if I can recover from a total hemorroidectomy without relying on narcotics. What, you didn't think I could possibly refrain from popping happy pills? Oh, yeah, the hemorrhoid thing. Yes, I had a couple of thrombosed hemorrhoids (as awful as that sounds, it's kind of fun to write) and decided to have them all removed so I never have to deal with them again.
Sitting has become an exercise in agility and grace. Peeing is a lengthy affair. And sitz baths give me time to play Lumosity games and start blog posts. Hey, I'm sitting for 15 to 20 minutes at a time doing that, what better use of that time? Trust me, I clean my phone regularly. All in all, day one post-op went well.
Working from home has definitely had it's benefits. I've been able to have a couple of surgeries that I put off for awhile because I don't have to miss more than a day of work. And, I can work in my pajamas when I don't feel up to getting dressed. I can sit on an ice pack, take a cat nap, and use my lunch break to dip my poor behind in the warm water sitz baths I'm supposed to do three times a day. Oh, and when I'm home, I can whine about how sore my ass is without getting strange looks. Hey, my sons don't count.
Really, though, I was anticipating far worse, so I'll take what I'm experiencing now. Besides, the Patriots are playing pre-season football, nothing is going to distract me from that. I'm a little sore, but I've got a fresh ice pack, just popped a couple Tylenol and I'm strategically lying on my side watching the half-time bullshit waiting for more game.
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