Sometimes I Don't Succeed Like I Expected To

Realizing when I've overextended myself is tough. I don't like admitting that I'm human. I mean, I don't like not being able to operate at high speeds indefinitely, like some kind of super human. I'm fine with being human, it's the whole limitations thing I just don't embrace well.

The other side of acknowledging that I've taken on more than I should have is that nearly always I've opened the door to having others rely on me. Letting people down is just not something I ever feel good about. It doesn't matter if it is unintentional; if I fail to be available for someone, no matter how difficult it is for me to finagle it, I've still failed. Without a doubt, I am hard on myself, but I take standing by my words and my actions seriously. Walking away from things I've started, leaving them unfinished never feels good. Even if it's the best thing for my own well-being.

It isn't often that I have to bow out of things I've committed to, but even so it still feels awful. Getting past the guilt and negative energy is tough. When it comes right down to it though, I know that stepping away and being 100% honest with myself is what makes the most sense. No matter how much I want to apply my sticktoitiveness to a situation, it just doesn't work with everything. Sure, I pride myself on being dependable, loyal and hardworking, but every so often it doesn't pan out the way I had expected. When that happens I have to retreat and do what is best for me.

Though every intention was based in good will, there are things that just aren't meant to be or don't turn out the way I had hoped they might. Being able to hold my head up and refrain from berating myself for a failure is almost as tough as having to admit that I can't do it all. Like it or not, I'm not Super Girl; I kick ass most of the time, but there are moments and choices that have me sitting the bench for a bit. I tried something, it didn't work out, but the world doesn't have to end and walking away doesn't mean I don't know how to follow-through.

Sometimes it takes a few strikes to finally hit a home run. I tried it, it just isn't going to work, so it's time to step back and recharge. Something else will come along and when it does, I'll be better prepared to take it on.