Holding a fair amount of stress for a somewhat lengthy time can be hard on a person's confidence, patience, and sense of well-being. As much as I would prefer to avoid that kind of element into my own life, my energy is better spent finding ways to cope with it. Life unfolds whether I am calm or stressed, so the best thing for me is to focus on living and less on worrying.
The past three weeks I've been preoccupied with a major life change, or at least my intent to make this change. I've fought (somewhat poorly) allowing the stress associated with this change to affect those around me. Still, even as snippy or withdrawn as I may have been, it's still lightyears from where I use to be. I am almost immediately aware of my energy and how I react and interact as a result. I haven't perfected the act of pre-emptive censoring, but recognizing my attitude right away has helped me alter things before they get ugly.
I have had a few days during this time when I literally felt as though I was redirecting my thoughts and energy back toward the positive every ten minutes. Rather than get discouraged and give in however, I just keep pulling my focus back to what I want, what I am capable of, and what I deserve. The amazing thing about this isn't that I've developed serious patience with myself, though that is a benefit, but that I can actually feel myself (physically and emotionally) relaxing each time I reaffirm what I already know.
Old habits die hard, as they say, so when instituting change even the most convinced of us needs to continue the affirmation process. Sometimes the most important aspect of change isn't the end result, it's the way we conduct ourselves before we get there. Though this change has yet to finalize, the process of achieving the end I desire has brought me so much closer to the kind of real confidence and appreciation that will one day be as natural as breathing. And that in and of itself is a major life change.
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