What Some See As Ugly Might Just Be Beauty Taking Its Time To Emerge

I spend a fair amount of time reigning in my thoughts and emotions, attempting to 'ascend' to a more respectable and at peace version of myself. On the whole, I believe this is the way we all should approach life. I'm far from perfect; there are still many things I could stand to improve and change about how I conduct myself.

Reading books, spending time with enlightened individuals, thinking about better ways to deal with or react to external issues...while they are all good, I've come to realize that, on occasion, you need to allow yourself the time and space to be upset.

How can a person expect anyone else to validate their feelings if they continually 'correct' them before acknowledging that they are real? That anger or sadness is legitimate and needs to be felt in order to move forward. Sometimes, breathing and changing mindset isn't the first step. Sometimes you just aren't okay.

I know that for me, when I am upset, either by my own shortcomings or because someone else's actions have directly affected me, I can't always just take five minutes to push past it. There are times when I need to vent and at the very least hear myself verbalize exactly what I am upset about and how it makes me feel out loud before I can truly find the best path to moving beyond it.

Sometimes, just sometimes I think it would feel great to scream. Like really scream. Loud, guttural, intense and cleansing screams...but of course that would draw the wrong type of attention that might just make my situation and emotional state worse. So, instead, I lean on select people who not only listen but push me to let the negativity out to make room for other, more positive things.

Patience and permission to feel the shitty things before making changes that result in growth can make you appreciate positive energy. It reminds me that I'm human and that I don't need to be perfect. It reminds me that perfection isn't what I'm after. I'm just trying to live each day with a more peaceful and happy soul. So if that means that I occasionally have to allow the crap to work its way through me, then that's just what I have to do.