Literally Rambling On About Everything and Nothing Tonight

I try to spend a few minutes every day, reflecting on whatever may have transpired. Not in the sense that I am looking for ways things could have been better or different, but more in the 'did I handle/do/say things the best way I could have' way. If I didn't, I consider how else I might react and file it away for future use in similar situations.

With each passing year I internalize more of the knee-jerk reactions I've had in the past and spend time processing the thoughts and emotions that come up in any given situation. This is far more challenging than it was pre-texting. It is far too easy, especially for a writer, to relay a thought or chain of thoughts through text/message/email. The more emotionally charged the issue, the more likely someone such as myself will craft a flowing stream of words designed to dizzy, and more importantly sting. I have found, at least for me, the more involved I am, be it out of concern, anger, hurt or pure giddiness, I am apt to use my love of words to convey my thoughts more emphatically than I might truly want to. For that very reason, I push to refrain from that method of communication altogether if any of the above extremes is present.

Whether I feel good, bad or inconsolable (which rarely happens), my inclination is always to express those thoughts in words that tend to magnify the extreme and not necessarily convey the true reality. This leads to confusion and sometimes rebuttals that set off a back and forth of word daggers, or even a total absence of response..."hello? are you there?"

If you have the ability to string words together that can capture someone's attention, chances are you are also prone to overstating and embellishing for the pure exhilaration of word-craft. I am certain anyone who has received texts/messages from me would agree that I use more words than necessary to get my point across. Should I mistype a word, I send a correction text...I'm now way off topic...words, they pull me in all directions every time. Maybe a touch of ADD.

Reflection. The more I practice this simple act of quiet awareness, the easier it is to realize all the great things that continue to grace my life. I believe that is a large part of why I chose to write another 365 days of 'whatever comes to mind' and somehow tie it to self-awareness and growth. Though I'm certain my reasons for writing will change from day to day, the core of why and what I hope to achieve within myself most often stay the same.

Hearing the clothes in the dryer, Riley's phone vibrating with SnapChats galore and watching Brayden rile the cat up, I appreciate having enjoyed coffee in total silence this morning. Amazingly, I also remember wishing for these same, distracting sounds around me just last week when the boys were gone overnight. I'd say I'm fortunate to have struck some kind of balance between the extremes and can still enjoy them both.

And based on the numerous interruptions happening here, I believe I should take the cues to stop rambling on and focus on the life around me vying for my full attention. Goodnight all.