You Have My Heart, No Really, You Do

Life has a funny way of reiterating a point, even if you're already well-versed in the lesson. I have always been outgoing and personable, and despite the times that I would have done better to exercise a more selective approach to whom I associate with, I wouldn't dream of changing that part of my personality. People gravitate toward me because of these attributes, and in some way I believe part of my purpose in life is to be someone other people can count on, confide in, and trust to be supportive when they need.

I've had a love/hate relationship with this part of me, mainly because it is tricky to maneuver without becoming too affected personally. Without a doubt, compassion takes personal involvement, but there is a fine line that is not easy to stay on the right side of. My advice giving can occasionally get out of control, or at the very least be ill-timed. The older I get, the more evident it becomes that I need to give far more consideration to whom I allow myself to interact with. Engaging as my nature is, the repercussions I feel as a result of finding myself in the midst of things I wouldn't choose to be part of are becoming enough to cause me pause. I never expected to second guess that particular part of who I have become.

It isn't that I don't want to be exactly who I am. It's not even that I don't want to share my friends' burdens when they most need me to. The thing is, I want to continue being who I am, I just don't want to lose myself being the go-to girl. The key lies in acceptance; pure and simple. Can I accept that my life brings contact with many people in conflict, and in need of a listening, consoling ear? Am I willing and able to weave it all into the overall fabric of who I am and who I will become?

Given the above point of view, there is simply no answer, save yes. Without effort, these things are already part of who I am, and I doubt I could ever separate them from me. My heart, my experience and my soul are what I offer those I meet, and I will not skimp to save myself pain. Pain is where we have the most potential for growth and betterment. I choose to stay open and engaging; to be exactly who I am, no matter how risky it may initially seem to be. My heart may break, my ego may bruise, but I heal and continue to grow.