What It Is I See, May Not Actually Be

I realized last night that when I'm out with friends, I really don't take in my surroundings. I can be a people-watcher, but if I'm focused on conversation and interacting with others, I've virtually oblivious to what is outside that immediate social circle. That and my hearing and eyesight have seriously limited range.

I've been accused of being stuck up and a bitch, because I often don't realize I've looked right past, or walked by someone I know without acknowledging them. I am anything but. My vision clarity is limited to about an eight-foot radius in good lighting and more like a three-foot radius in dimly lit rooms. In all honesty, that's probably being generous. If I don't acknowledge you and we are on good terms, it's because I literally don't see or recognize you. Problems of the visually impaired.

As my distance vision declines, I just can't people watch the way I use to. Sad really. I miss sitting back and playing witness to all sorts of scenarios. In a well-lit environment, I can still see those stolen glances between people who think no one is watching, the posturing and facial expressions that suggest discord, the playfulness, the deep-in-thought, new loves, old loves, best friends...the list goes on and on.

Witnessing any interactions between people, even from a distance, somehow makes me realize that too many of us rely so heavily on being validated by others, that we fail to accept things solely on our experience. All-day long people witness a good portion of our lives and form opinions of us without us ever knowing, yet those conclusions are drawn just the same. How important is it to embrace all that happens to us in a day's time simply from our own point of view? For me, being able to move through my waking hours without concern of what anyone else might be thinking fosters incredible confidence; confidence fosters the perfect environment for happiness.

While I do care to some extent how others perceive me, it rarely impacts the way I live. The opinions of people who know me do carry more weight and may in some small way, influence my decisions, but that of those I do not know well are simply background noise. The more positive the person, the less impact negativity from others is likely to make.