There was a time when I would have been unable to resist the urge to defend myself and recount the conversation that led to whatever betrayal I was being accused of. These days I just take a breath and hold my tongue. Of course that does depend on the situation.
Sometimes harsh truths are spoken. Honesty may be appreciated initially, but after it sits and festers, most people will do or say anything to reject it. There are three sides to most stories, though when I find myself in the defensive role because the other person regrets something that has nothing to do with me, two sides are nearly the same version.
When people aren't ready to make changes in their lives or hear the truth about something, their recollections become selective. This is where I step back and realize that any accusations or coldness doesn't really have to do with me. Deflection is easier to do than actually face the truth and accept that nothing can be as it was again.
My propensity for being honest won't change much, though there are times when I curb my input or response. Some relationships are not worth the full extent of honesty you might be willing to deliver. I've just decided that I'd rather be as honest as the recipient can handle, because being right isn't nearly as important as being supportive at the pace another person needs.
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