Though They Have Passed On, Loved Ones Never Really Leave Us

It happened gradually, without my ever noticing. Every day the intensity of it lessened, little moments faded until they became forgotten memories, and in general life pushed on in that unstoppable way it always does. And then one day something transpires that brings a flood of those long forgotten, neatly and lovingly stored memories. Complete with all too familiar emotions.

There aren't many days that have passed in the almost 20 years since my father died that I don't think about him. It did take a long time before those momentary glimpses and recollections were of happier times. In the short time from him being diagnosed with liver cancer and his final breath, a seeming lifetime of grief consumed my family. Three months of wishing, hoping, denying, and ultimately being faced with the reality that we were losing one of the most important parts of our family. Bouncing back from that kind takes time; lots of time.

A good friend of mine has endured his own version of this loss, and though I cannot know exactly what this has and will do to his life, I can understand the uncertainty, disbelief and grief that surrounds he and his family. The finality of death is beyond immediate comprehension. We learn to live life in the absence of our loved ones, but their impact on us remains. Out of the blue we see glimpses of those we've lost in ourselves, our mannerisms, and in our children's expressions. Sometimes those moments are bittersweet, but they eventually become gifts from the person who left us all too soon.

Once we can wrap our minds and hearts around the void left behind, we are free to celebrate all the things we remember and everything we have as a result of knowing and loving the person who departed from our life. The only thing better than instantly thinking about the person we lost during random moments, is sharing that experience with others. The more people who tap into the energy surrounding memories of a loved one, the closer we feel to that person. The memory of their presence is as close to the days when they were here with us as it can possibly get. That's the celebratory effect.

Remembrance is important to keeping our loved ones alive within us. There are those recollections that are personal; private and ours alone, but most memories are meant to be relived with others. It is absolutely the best way to connect and share the love and the energy planted within us by whomever we've lost. Loss can be devastating, but the reverberations of that person's soul resound through the lives they touched. Be the amplifier that reminds the world of who has been lost; keep their energy and use it wisely.