Do Not Mistake My Kindness For Subservience

In my striving to live a better, more positive and fulfilling life, I've hit a couple of sizable hurdles. It appears (read: I've been told point-blank) that I'm inherently too nice. Now, that is not to say that I'm always chipper, happy-go-lucky, or incapable of being mean. In the context it has been stated, I am far too willing to inconvenience myself or bear the burden of awkward, uncomfortable feelings in order to accommodate others. Doesn't sound too bad, until I step back and realize that I've subjected myself to situations I could have (and most definitely SHOULD have) avoided. *sigh*

While sparing someone else's feelings is a good thing to practice, allowing myself to be the always open ear, ever available shoulder, and consummate consolation, sixth-round draft pick isn't. It isn't good practice to foster self-indulgent, narcissistic behavior in others, and it isn't a good way to demonstrate how others should determine my worth. There apparently is such a thing as taking the 'treat others how you want to be treated' way of interaction too far. I've just been operating so far beyond that fine line, I couldn't say exactly when and why I ever crossed it.

Sure, there have been some positive results to keeping it all nicey-nice; like others seeing me as dependable, likable, trustworthy, and caring. It's the other side of this that isn't great; the side that suggests I'm expendable, easy, and that I'm okay with being treated beneath my worth. Essentially, this is paramount to allowing the positive, good-natured part of who I am to be repeatedly exploited by others' whims. That is not to say that these things are done with ill intentions; quite often it is that my lack of self-preservation creates the perfect 'when in Rome' environment. A number of people aren't even aware they have the tendency to mistreat or devalue another person, because they aren't observant and have been submerged in their own bubble of 'me, myself, and I' for far too long. Of course, there are those who seize the opportunities that overly accommodating people (evidently someone like me) create to advance or better their own agenda/life, completely indifferent to any hurt or hardship they leave behind.

I have far more to offer than many realize. Rather than allow another person to assist in dialing down my worth, I would be wise to be more selective in my interactions, and far more reserved than my open door, red-carpet niceness of late. There is nothing wrong with holding people accountable for their actions, and for waiting until they earn the hand of friendship before it is extended. And there is nothing that says once extended, that hand of friendship cannot be retracted in the wake of misuse.