Whenever I realize that something isn't exactly as I would have expected, wanted, or thought it to be I have a tough time letting go of the disappointment or guilt about reality. Hindsight is a killer of confidence. Life is full of retrospective gazing, not to mention should have, could have, would haves.
There are a few things in my life that I have wished I'd done differently. Particularly when it comes to my sons. At the peak of any defining moment, I've always done the best I could, thought this doesn't mean I don't see that there may have been other options or avenues that I previously missed out on. Sometimes I feel like I was practically wearing blinders when I look back at moments that could have played out better; more beneficial.
Sure there is a twinge of regret, but missed opportunities have a way of bringing that particular emotion to the surface. Of course there is little point expending energy on what has already happened; better to focus on what's to come. We do the best we can with the information and resources we have at the time. After that, all we can hope for is the wherewithal to accept the outcome and look toward the next opportunity.
I suppose, things being as they are, I'm in the best place I could find myself. The options I have in life now are not what they would be had I chosen to skip instead of run. No good can ever come of always assuming there are other, parallel lives that could have been my reality. Well...except a decent plot idea :)
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