It could be that a select few songs will always remind me of a particular friend. It's also likely that I've had nearly 23 years to fall into a routine-like remembrance of her whenever the anniversary of her death rolls around. Undoubtedly, it is because of both things that my ride home from work was filled with so many memories of Samantha.
I found myself grinning without really knowing why, though I suspect it could have been because most of the times I was reliving during that 45 minute drive always had her smile. Driving around listening to Metallica nearly constantly, yelling at each other from opposite ends of the hall just to be obnoxious, days, strolling into the head shop like we weren't underage...oh, and a party or two.
When ...And Justice For All came out I'm pretty sure we burned through a few cassettes...especially in her car. Her propensity for dating guys who were abusive was the one thing I couldn't let slide. As an outspoken, blunt and filterless teenage girl, I didn't see that she needed me to be supportive and a shoulder to lean on more than she needed me to tell her what I saw. Our very last argument was about her very last boyfriend. I won't ever forget the wedge I let him and his actions drive between us, and then one day, it was too late to change any of it. She was gone.
March 17th, 1991 I lost one of my closest friends, but she left this world unaware that I could never hate her, never forget her, and that I would always remember the good stuff. Whenever I stroll through these memories of her, I never seem to recall the very things that left the rift that never was repaired. I see the tough girl who loved metal, makeup, working out and auto shop class. She sang amazingly, loved fiercely and through her I learned one of my most painful, yet most valuable lessons. Never let an opportunity to mend a relationship or tell someone how much they really mean to you pass by. Ever.
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