There are a number of things I have heard my sons say that make me smile. Sure, there have been some things that have left me wanting to pull my hair out too, but I'm lucky enough that I've laughed more than I've stressed over the past eighteen years.
I reposted a photo of my sons and I on facebook earlier today, and I found myself just looking at how young the two of them were and being beside myself as to how quickly time has truly gone by. I haven't been able to cuddle up with either of them in quite some time, but back when that photo was taken, it was still possible. Six years doesn't seem like a long time when you've reached 42, but it's huge when your children go from 12 and nine to 18 and almost 15. The reality is that in youth, time passes too fast. Much, much too fast.
I rarely feel like I need time away from my boys, in fact, if they are gone too long I start going through withdrawals. I am well aware that this could make it tough to 'let go' when they decide to leave the nest, but for eighteen years I have been in love with my life as a mother. I don't like the thought that I will one day live in an empty house. No more teenage attitudes, joke playing or changing, cracking voices. No dirty clothes strewn about, no food wrappers and empty glasses left on end tables, just quiet, clean peaceful rooms. I have a plan however; when I'm most lonely, missing the sound of xbox and rap music, I will turn the television on, play music loudly and switch on every light in the house. I'll let the shower run for too long, leave wet towels on the floor and refuse to make my bed or put my clean clothes away. What? It could work.
Until the day when I have to watch each of them walk out the door for the last time as part of my household, and return to 'visit' I am hoarding every possible second I can with them nearby. And allow myself to be poked and teased so that I make ridiculous faces in family photos <3
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