There are always going to be people in your life, or who just cross through it, that push the door open just enough to allow negative reactions to run free inside you. Recognizing these people, and more importantly the triggers they set off, is the only way keep composure. That's really just the tricky part; the hard part is utilizing that recognition to extinguish the negativity before you do anything rash.
I'm not great at that part, but I've gotten much better than I once was. Some triggers are more difficult to move past without becoming upset than others. I've found that, for me, the times that I allow myself to get mad are typically because my ego has been insulted in some way. Whether the person on the other end of the offense intended to evoke that type of reaction or not, I am responsible for if and how I respond. Even when the desire to react instinctively is what most of us would consider justifiable.
It's amazing how quickly the flame of anger or sense of injured pride can spread through a person. Taking a step back at least stops it long enough to make the choice to backtrack and react in a way that diffuses the situation. Actually sitting with the discontent or frustration rather than announcing it to the world, is another. Probably the two in combination are the most effective way to gain positive energy and composure.
Practice makes progress (nothing is ever perfect).
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