There's Always A Point To It All

I've always been relatively resourceful. Since becoming a mother it has become an essential cornerstone of my life. My sons depend on me (though not as much as they once did now that they are grown) to make certain they are taken care of. I can't imagine ever failing at this.

This is likely 75 percent of why I'm always on the go with a few different irons in the fire. I don't really know how to not be that way. It dumbfounds me that there are people out there who just take the lumps they get in life and never push harder to make their own way. I don't understand it and quite frankly, I hope I never do. Not that I would hold that lack of motivation and self-preservation against anyone, I just am grateful it is a way of life I know nothing about.

There was a time when I would have disagreed at being seen or referred to as a workaholic, but when I look at my life and all of the things that I do, it's something that is undeniable. I wouldn't say it's a problem, as I still find time to spend with the boys, and I have a moderately active social life (once winter has passed). Idle time doesn't suit me often, so when I'm not as busy in my work life as I want to be, I find a way to occupy myself — even if that means working more than one job.

Sometimes I wonder if the choices I make are leading me away from the things I want in life, though as long as I maintain focus and a positive mindset it isn't likely to be the case. I think this way of life has just become a part of who I am; being resourceful and motivated are qualities that I can't separate from the rest of me. Not that I want to. The determination to maintain and rise above are part of why I get up and face the day over and over again. There is a purpose in feeling useful and productive, and when you feel good about who you are and what you do, there's a decent chance you'll love your life.

Nothing has turned out the way I expected or hoped for, but I'm glad it didn't. The turns and detours that have brought me to this time and place were worth every ounce of sweat and pang of frustration. I look forward to the future, but these days I don't spend much time trying to envision what will be. My goals and focus are on broader things, though when I do get more specific, there is no weighty expectation tied to the outcome. No matter what, I will keep moving forward. There might be a few lateral moves along the way, but backwards just isn't part of this girl's repertoire.