You Might Think It, You Might Feel It, But It's Not Always The Right Time To Express It

The past couple of days I haven't done as well handling the uprising of particular emotions as well as I might like to have. I have allowed certain situations, that don't directly affect me to stir up my insides and spill over into expressions far stronger than I should have allowed. This has taken away from the support I should have been giving to someone who was leaning on me. While my feelings were not thrust at this person, I feel as though their abrupt presence took something away that could have been beneficial.

There are times, particularly when people I care about are greatly affected by situations that arise, that I jumped to a defensive stance on their behalf. The protective concern isn't the problem, it's the initial reaction to whatever the person I care about is confiding in me about that throws the would-be positive environment into a churning pot of strong emotions. The whole idea about being a listening ear is to listen without judgment or intense reactions. Just because I feel strongly doesn't mean I have to make those feelings known right then and there.

Without a doubt, I have my work cut out for me in this area. I'm willing to make the changes because the people who trust me to listen continue to open up to me despite any previous failings. It is more than okay to have deep, even visceral responses to things that should definitely move us in a specific way, but reserving them for a later time is best when your first objective is to listen.

I have always had a tendency to the more reactionary when it comes to what affects my friends and family. Whether it comes from the heart or not, it isn't always the best first reaction to verbally vomit — emphatically what my thoughts are on what I've just been told. Sharing isn't a bad thing, but the timing of and volume at which we share is. Biting my tongue for the sake of allowing someone else to work through their own thoughts and feelings about something is truly the best way to be there for someone I care about. There will be time enough to expand on things, but initially, the person who needs to talk should be allowed to do so without a bombardment of energetic agreement or outrage tossed back in their direction before they are finished unloading.

It appears I have a new project of self to focus my energies on. Growth is always the favored path. My loved ones —not to mention my own self, deserve the best version of me I can put forth, and with every stride to curb negative behaviors, I'm giving us all just that.