I May Need To Work On My Topic Weaving...

Toward the end of a conference call that went well over the time allotted I could hear the attitude creep into my voice. Every question or suggestion this one person made managed to make its way around again when the call should have been over. Sometimes, in order to stop the madness, I have to be frank with my responses - today I definitely found the blunt old biddy that resides somewhere in my persona and she wasn't having any more nonsense. While I was aware of this happening, I'm not so sure it was apparent to the other people on the call. I'm usually just a badass in the confines of my own mind, sadly.

On the surface of some situations, like the dream I had last night where I told my ex-husband off, I mull over the things I would say and how I would say them. When I was younger I had no issues bluntly stating what was on my mind, but these days I almost always find the most appropriate way I can to communicate with other people. Well, if those other people are not my children or family members anyway. I've come to realize that while there might be instant gratification in bulldozing my way through discussions with some people, the long-term results would paint an image of me that I'd rather not be saddled with. Surprisingly, it is relatively easy to get my point across without being nasty. Pity, so much attitude just wasting away.

Occasionally, I find a way to work that overflow of specific attitude into writing, so I suppose it's far from wasted. I just need to create a character that is as snarky as my Inner Brat wants me to be in real life and then I have something to funnel all those unsaid words, gestures, glares and irritable noises into to! If I only had the time...over committed and barely keeping up.

Well, I'm sure all the things I'd love to say won't go very far. Once I've finished a project, I may just have to start a new one with this exact idea and see where it takes me. Until then, it's time to move over to the big focus currently dominating my days...the book that's been culminating over the past decade. Got to finish this thing and do something with it!