It's a strange place to find yourself, knowing your child is dealing with somewhat adult issues and there is not much you can do to help, except be there. Life changes rapidly. The older we get, we are able to better deal with those ups, downs and surprises the Universe puts in our path — at least hopefully. Sitting back and watching my sons get their heads around whatever happens to be going on in their life and saying nothing is tough.
I trust they have learned enough to make the best decisions most of the time and I'm also fairly certain, should they need the input, they will come to me for advice. When they were little, just watching them stumble, fall, work a puzzle through or try to decide whether they wanted choice A or choice B was difficult. The whole idea of parenting is guiding and teaching, so when the time comes for those lessons to be tested, quietly observing isn't natural.
No matter what the oldest child did or didn't do, the way really hasn't been paved. My sons are two completely different people, and none of the choices they make seem to be choices that the other will face. It's a new adventure with Riley and the college process, far different from his brother. Brayden has been the first for many things, but not everything he does will see footsteps following closely behind. I don't mind this as it gives my relationship with each of them a hint more uniqueness.
My long ago view of what this parenting role would bring as the boys entered adulthood has been shed for the simple acceptance that we are all going through this for the first time, together. If that isn't the best example of being part of a family, I don't know what is. May there be many more firsts in this life, both separate and together.
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