While my life is mostly on-the-go, it is incredibly simplistic. I like this. Without the interference of drama, labels, other people's expectations, or mind-numbing-busy-myself-beyond-all-consciousness, life is there, completely accessible for me to explore and appreciate.
Describing myself was never a task I felt capable of. Mainly, I think in some part, I was afraid I'd paint myself in a specific light that I could never walk out of for another. I may be engaging and vibrant one minute, but introspective and quiet the next. I value every emotion I've ever experienced, and overall I am generally a happy person, but there was a time when I might have described myself as miserably unhappy and quick to fire back hurtful zingers. Imagine if I had owned that state of being and still carried it today. I shudder to even think about it.
No, I prefer to keep things simple. I am me, and however the person forming an opinion sees me, that is essentially part of who I am. There is no possible way for everyone I encounter to embrace all the things that make me who I am, and likewise of me with other people. Sometimes what a person sees is a misleading snapshot that ultimately chases them away. I try to be the truest form of who I feel I am, but there will always be those moments when I am off-color and unlike that me majority.
Keeping things simple, paves the way for consistency, and that has proved to be the surest way to continue living an unencumbered existence. People naturally gravitate to me because it is obvious what they see is the real me. I am able to present my perspectives clearly, and even bluntly at times, because I choose to see through the distractions of issues, hang-ups, and excuses, allowing me to focus on the simple truth.
Too often we allow ourselves to get caught up in the surface, that we forget there is a much bigger, awe-inspiring depth below. We pick up on one or two things, fixate and suddenly the entire thought process and emotion attached to a person or a situation is based on a fleeting idea or superficial component. When things don't turn out the way we expected, we are brutally crushed and the wind has been knocked out of us. If the romanticized notions are where we funnel our all; if the moment we feel a spark we dive in head first, the real emotion we are experiencing when things fall apart or take an unexpected turn away from where we thought we were going isn't heartache. Well...not entirely. The bigger, and yet still unacknowledged truth is that we know the misstep was at the very start.
We are upset with ourselves for leaping without looking yes, but more for allowing the insubstantial things to lead us around and make us act on things purely based on falsehood and fantasy. We were fooled. Most of all we cannot believe we'd ever let the shiny, pretty promise of fabulousness tempt us away from discovering the honest beauty beneath.
Simple doesn't mean boring. It doesn't require lackluster dreams or safety bumpers on every corner. It is the core, the stripped down center of everything. No designer styles, no name brand threads; nothing but the most prevalent, though sometimes most overlooked, quality to someone or something. At the heart of every interaction, every job or career path, every dream is an undeniable current that all that surface stuff has tethered itself to.
I went through life changing moments fairly early in my adulthood, even as far back as my childhood if I'm totally honest. The severity of those things sent shockwaves through me, enabling me to see what were the most important things in my life. When the surface cracked, simple is what kept me sane. The simple things were and still are the most consistent, reliable and meaningful points of balance and peace.
To be able to see and embrace the simple truth of life around you, you have to be patient and be willing to cast aside all elaborate and false expectations. If you can live with the simplest realities first, adding the extras later becomes easier and longer-lasting. No race was ever run without first running the entire course. Dream of winning, desire true love, but begin at the starting line and get a real feel for the miles that lie between you and that end. Simplicity provides the stability to push the boundaries of life, and shouldn't be skipped over.
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