Spinning My Wheels, But Staying On The Right Road

Blog posting with a kitty on my lap, causing me to stretch my arms to reach the keys on my MacBook Pro is ... interesting.

I've spent the better part of the past three days racking my head over a thing or two. Not to the point of insanity, but pros, cons, what-ifs and probable outcomes have kept my mind going full steam. As exhausted as I am (my brain feels like a foggy wasteland of mush), sleep isn't coming over me easily.

These things are of personal consequence to me, and ultimately to those around me. It is such a deeply ingrained process - this analytical dance, that I haven't the first iota of a clue how to stop the madness. The best I've managed is to slow down the rapid-fire of thoughts and attempt to trust that all will work out as it is suppose to...no, as I want and fully expect it these things to turn out.

In the spirit of maintaining inner peace and balance, I've found that how my choices and decisions impact those around me is as important as how they affect me. Once I've made a move in any given direction, second guessing myself is irrelevant since the outcome won't change with would have, could have, should haves. I think on my options for some time, avoiding rash actions, and while this usually points me in the best possible direction, it also taxes my internal reasoning and energy flow. Thankfully, all of my big life decisions come at one time; enabling me to enjoy a bit of mental and emotional freedom once I've made the choices.

The difference between some of the changes that present themselves is often the level of emotional involvement or draw. Deciding on a new vehicle, for instance, is less about how I feel and more about what I think; whereas deciding whether to continue dating someone is more often than not a choice that is almost all based on feelings. While I often entertain fantasies of easy decisions, I know I would be bored beyond belief without regularly putting in some deep and much-involved thought.

In the end, the things that took time to decide have most often that have led to meaningful moments and lasting changes. In light of that, a sleepless night or two, and stress headache here and there are quite acceptable. It doesn't hurt to have belief in positive energy, either.