I Might Wain, But I Never Break

Re-evaluation. Every so often I consider those things in my life that have weathered time, just to make certain they are still relevant in the current climate of my life. I'm doing the re-evaluating thing at the moment...and I must say there are changes to be made. Big changes, slight alterations, and tweaks that are wholly necessary for this life to continue along it's merry-ass way.

I enjoy evolving as a person. I find comfort in the acceptance that not everything lasts forever. As a person I am grounded, and completely flexible to change. As long as I have been alive, the one constant in my life has been change. Fairly big change for the most part. Regardless of how often I'd attempt to beg off upheavals, kinks in the works, and unexpected hurdles, they still occurred. More importantly, however, I managed to survive in spite of it all. And it isn't because of resilience or fortitude, but because of the support and stability that never leaves me. My friends and family make it possible to go through pain and uncertainty with far more confidence than I might muster on my own.

Of course there are some changes that require more effort and will. These are the things that push me to draw, however silently, on the strength and reassurance I've managed to store up from those closest in my life. No matter how positive I choose to approach life, negativity is always there to challenge my position. Sometimes it taunts me in the slightest, but knowingly effective ways. It is in those times that I see just exactly what I am made of. And if I don't like what I see, the determination to push for positive will often kick me in the backside. It is impossible to stay stuck for long.

Between responsibilities, interests, others' expectations, and all the distractions this life is mine-fielded with, it is amazing any of us manage to accomplish the things we do. Being pulled in multiple directions for an extended period of time should make the sanest of us absolutely mad. Instead, it serves to define those of us who refuse to be halted by ego, failure, and challenge.

I decided some 23 years ago that negative thoughts, events or people would never affect my life to the point that I stopped making progress. I cannot fathom giving any of those things 'credit' for my failures or my gains. In spite of the lot, I will continue to become the me I am suppose to be. For me, there simply is no other way to exist and expand. I am who I am at this very moment, everything I could possibly be, yet tomorrow or the next day I will be more than I might have dreamed yesterday.