When Will People Learn

I am happy that only one of the two people arguing for the past hour outside my bedroom window lives next door. I feel sorry for the woman who does live there, and whose son is being attacked with the non-stop, self righteous tone of the young woman doing most of the arguing.

I finally gave up trying to sleep, as the conversation got louder and what was being said became clearer and clearer. It's embarrassing to overhear other people's dirty laundry. I don't want to be privy to this kind of thing, and for a number of reasons. It isn't my business. Every time I pass this guy in the parking lot, I will now recall the late night argument and attempt to pretend I heard nothing. Without meaning to, I have already become irritated with this woman simply because of what was forced upon my dying-to-catch-some-Zzzs-ears.

Public divulging of personal and private issues is unnecessary and speaks volumes about the person or persons involved. When you are in a relationship with another person, and some disagreement or hardship occurs, and you become so incensed or wrapped up in your own anger or feelings that you become boisterous and unyielding, it is less about passion and love and more about being right and attempting to forcefully bring the other person around to your way of thinking. In my opinion, when people argue in this manner, they have lost sight (or never came close to seeing) beyond their own needs and desires. You cannot argue your way back into another person's heart. No relationship is successfully turned around by two people talking over each other, in circles. And no enviable love is spawned from one person sitting silent while the other bellows and berates them.

Talking is a productive act that requires both expression and open listening. No one hears anything when there is constant interruption and interjection. Raising the volume of your voice to talk over the other person only proves how incapable of open communication a person is, and just how self-absorbed they truly are.

I am no stranger to the pitfalls of anger and relationships. I've been yelled at, talked over and dismissed; I've also been the offender. It solves nothing, and only serves to drive a bigger wedge between two people. Despite what I may have thought in the heat of anger or disappointment, it is possible to communicate without the drama and exhaustion. And honestly, if the hurdle is the other person's inability to calmly listen and discuss things without hurtful tones and words, there is nothing that can be said and no manner in which to best state things that will ever fall on open ears. There are some relationships that you simply need to distance yourself from. It takes two to create the right kind of healthy environment to vent, communicate, and love, but it only takes one person to end what has become unhealthy.

Earlier this evening I was feeling somewhat blah about my current single status. At the moment, I am counting the blessings of a peaceful existence, free of this kind of rampant drama. I am, however, attempting to remain hopeful that there is someone out there, well-suited for me, who actually 'gets' this all as I do. Make love not war people. Let go of your damned egos and give more, it isn't the end of the world. In fact, it is the beginning of so much more.