In my entire life I doubt that I will ever be able to comprehend what 67 years of marriage would be like. At the moment, I can't even relate to that span of time, given I've only been alive 42 years. And my longest relationship lasted thirteen. Nearly three-quarters of a century is just unfathomable.
My step-father's parents spent their 67th wedding anniversary with their children, daughter-in-law, my son Riley, and myself this past Saturday. There were gifts of flowers, good food, and a lot of reminiscing about things I had yet to hear about. Any plans I may have originally had for my Saturday off paled in comparison to time spent with family; especially knowing how short and precious time with Grandpa Shine has become these days.
Shine may not have recognized my son and I, but he was still so engaging in conversation. It didn't matter that his words made little sense, or that his stories were a jumble of presumably many. He made eye contact, held our hands, and gave us his full and good-natured attention. When I looked at him, stretched out in his hospital bed, I didn't see a soul to be pitied or experience an emotional meltdown, I saw a gentle, kind and loving man - a spirit that is genuine, noble, and absolutely timeless. This man is quite possibly one of the most real gentlemen I have ever had the fortune to meet. And for nearly twenty years, I have been lucky enough to have him as family.
My heart aches for what is slowly approaching; the parting of such a stellar life. The world, my family's world, will be forever blessed for the time we were able to share with him. There is no filler for the void a loved one's loss creates, rather it serves as a measure and reminder of just how much their presence meant.
To Amy, Cleo, Carry, and Joey, know that Grandpa isn't alone, and though you cannot be here, your names and many stories are being spoken about, surrounding this wonderful man with every ounce of love I know you have for him. I truly believe this will make his journey peaceful, because the hearts and energy of those he loves are carrying him through these difficult days. One more thing, thank you for sharing such a beautiful man with my sisters, our families and I. We are so fortunate to have you all, as well.
**I have never before written about a loved one as they have made the trek toward the end of their life here on Earth. And while I do not plan out what my nightly blog will be about, I do go off whatever has recently transpired for inspiration. In some ways I wish I had begun the documenting and expression of thoughts and emotions in this type of situation many years ago. Being able to go back and read what I was experiencing, rather than just rely on memory might also help in remembering the person. As painful as loss is, it serves a much bigger purpose in our growth, how we relate to and treat others, and in revealing what is of the truest value in our lives. Writing my grief helps me pull every ounce of meaning to the surface to use, as well as to share.
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