Anniversaries are either momentously happy occasions or somber reminders. Most people have their share of each. And no one likes the fog that surrounds those days a thousand pleas and wishes couldn't reverse.
Birthdays and romantic anniversaries are some of the most celebrated and shared moments. Well wishes and good cheer are easily given; everybody enjoys the good feeling atmosphere and it's almost effortless to join in. Being part of happiness has a lasting effect.
When I see people enjoying their lives, creating incredible moments that will become memories, it's impossible not to smile. Sometimes some long lost recollection of my own surfaces and intensifies my mood. Being happy, genuinely happy, is what allows us to experience our own amazing contentedness.
Just as the blissful air of celebratory events permeates everyone within reach, the shockwave of sadness can still the heart of anyone it touches. As easy as it can be to share in pleasant times, it might just be easier still to be stricken with the weight of loss. The moment you feel a twinge of empathy for someone, particularly if they are going through something you may have gone through yourself, it becomes unavoidable to suppress your own pain.
Losing people and reliving traumatic events are just as entwined in our memories as any happy occasions. We remember the weather, what we were wearing, a song heard, or bits of conversations that transpired. All too often these are the defining moments that seem to burn deeper into our memories, causing the most reaction when recalled. Far more intense then the calm and warmth of a happier time. Pain is so unyielding. And it can dominate the anniversary cycle for years, though it doesn't have to.
We remember the pain, we shed tears, get angry, and run through the scenario right up until the moment of loss. If we've learned from the pain at all, these 'stages' become milder and far shorter in duration, and are followed by memories that level things out and even lighten our overall state of being. When we think back on the good things, we can strengthen their echo and deepen their effect by allowing ourselves to let the positive energy they evoke run through us - unchecked. The moment I learned to do this, the easier it became to utilize that energy and move beyond the pain and negativity of those sad memories.
It isn't about forgetting or ignoring; it's about embracing and continuing to smile the most honest of smiles while life pushes onward.
No comments:
Post a Comment