Sunday, April 13, 2014

Place More Importance On Your Own Self-worth

No matter how many people like you and truly enjoy your company, there will always be people who don't. The reasons may vary, and in some cases, you may never know why. The thing is unless there is some common, underlying theme you might want to consider addressing, it really shouldn't matter.

As a kid growing up, one of the toughest things to accept was that other kids could just randomly dislike you and there was nothing you could do about it. This may have closely followed the realization that Corey Hart, Jon Bon Jovi, or Johnny Depp would never suddenly become aware of your existence and fall head-over-heels, madly in love with you. I did say 'may have'.

Preparing your own children for the same possible frustrations (minus the hot celebs) is even harder. The idea, from a parent's perspective, that anyone could not like your child is unfathomable. We see them as amazing, and our own love prevents us from conjuring the possibilities of anyone who doesn't see that as well.

Thankfully, neither of my sons has ever allowed themselves to get wrapped up in another kid's dislike for them. I'm sure they've come across this now and again, but they appear to be able to shrug it off and just accept that it is part of life. It's not callous or egotistical to know your own value and be able to let haters hate while you keep being yourself; it's emotional maturity.

I saw or read something that made me consider this earlier today; I couldn't begin to remember what exactly. I'm sure there are several people who roll their eyes in annoyance at the mention of my name, and I won't ever know why, but it really wouldn't make any difference in my life if I did. There are probably even a select few who behave as though they are my friends in my presence but vent their real feelings the moment I leave the room. It really does not matter. Though, over time, these particular individuals become easier to recognize.

When you become aware that you yourself have spent time as the hated, the hater, and the hater disguised as a friend, it is suddenly easier to avoid the trap of wanting to be liked by everyone. I haven't always made the right choices, been the nicest person, or had the self-awareness to shrug other people's opinions off, but I've never been big on perfection either. I have spent a lot of time working on improving what I don't like about myself, and in the end, the only opinion that truly matters is my own.

If you can live with who you are without regret, you will always attract haters. Not allowing those people to alter who you are or how you live is what will continue to attract souls who are true friends.

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