I remember all too well how frustrating disappointment was, and how I seemed to be in a cyclone of shit all the time. I was bitter, jaded and had an enormous chip on my shoulder. That lasted into my mid-30s. Can't help but shake my head a little at that.
My oldest son is going through his own version of that cycle at the moment. While I try to be empathetic and understanding, I'm not altogether sure he's hearing any of the advice I'm is giving. Maybe we all have to go through it for ourselves, figure out what works and what doesn't before we can practice being more positive and less easily consumed by hardships.
There is little point in getting frustrated with either of my sons because they tend to overlook my mom advice. I wasn't exactly willing to follow my own mother's words of experience back in the day. She did say something that stuck with me, however. One day, it will all make sense and you'll remember what I told you over and over again. I may not have wanted to hear her at the time she was imparting her wisdom, but the words did stay with me until I was ready to really hear them.
This is the best I can hope for with my own two children. They will go through hard times that seem like the end of the world, and to them it will likely feel like it. I have to remind myself often that their emotional range is subject to what they have for life experience. They won't learn how to cope, deal, process and move on if they don't first have to find their way out of a tough situation.
I've watched them grow over the past two decades and I have no doubt they are going to grasp the concept of being more positive far sooner than I did. This gives me hope in those moments I'm trying to be a voice of reason and they just aren't in the right space to hear me. No matter what they may do or not do with my words at that moment, everything I've taught them is churning around in their head and they are making choices and changes based on all of it. I may not be able to change their circumstances when I'd most like to spare them from the struggle, but as long as they reach out to me for advice they won't immediately put into use, I know they'll be all right.
There is little point in getting frustrated with either of my sons because they tend to overlook my mom advice. I wasn't exactly willing to follow my own mother's words of experience back in the day. She did say something that stuck with me, however. One day, it will all make sense and you'll remember what I told you over and over again. I may not have wanted to hear her at the time she was imparting her wisdom, but the words did stay with me until I was ready to really hear them.
This is the best I can hope for with my own two children. They will go through hard times that seem like the end of the world, and to them it will likely feel like it. I have to remind myself often that their emotional range is subject to what they have for life experience. They won't learn how to cope, deal, process and move on if they don't first have to find their way out of a tough situation.
I've watched them grow over the past two decades and I have no doubt they are going to grasp the concept of being more positive far sooner than I did. This gives me hope in those moments I'm trying to be a voice of reason and they just aren't in the right space to hear me. No matter what they may do or not do with my words at that moment, everything I've taught them is churning around in their head and they are making choices and changes based on all of it. I may not be able to change their circumstances when I'd most like to spare them from the struggle, but as long as they reach out to me for advice they won't immediately put into use, I know they'll be all right.
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