Do I or Don't I

NaNoWriMo — to participate or not, that is the current topic on the brain. Given how difficult it has been to get caught up with this daily blog, I'm apprehensive about my ability to write 50,000 words in 30 days. Can I commit to this kind of challenge?

My mister brought this topic up a few weeks ago, as he is considering participating as well. I'm not much for competition unless it's by myself, but there might be something to gain in the way of accountability if we do this together. I may find it an added incentive to stick to daily writing knowing he's doing the same.

If there is one thing I don't like doing, it's failing. When I set out to do something, I take it seriously, especially if there is a time or frequency factor to meet. I have started book projects and they sit, untouched in varying states of progress. The idea of completing just one of them is tempting, but the fear of falling short of that goal is almost stronger. Maybe working at this alongside someone I love and respect will quell that irrational way of thinking.

All things being as they are right now, I can't deny that making the time to write has been more difficult than it has been in the past. When I do set aside a few minutes here and there, I barely produce 500 words. To meet 50,000 in a month, I'll need to be producing at least 1667 words a day. Knowing how I write, there will be days I hit 2500 and days I can barely come up with 1000. I might be able to settle into a routine of writing every day, but creatively speaking, that doesn't mean I will be able to focus and add worthwhile content in that specific volume.

Each and every year, since finding out about this challenge, I have wanted to participate. Each and every year I opt to wait until another year. This is incredible procrastination. I'm tired of being an example of putting things off, but I also don't like setting myself up to come up short. I'd say this man's influence in my life has, among other things, made the possibility of finally finishing a book project greater.

This internal struggle has gone on far too long, and it's beyond ridiculous now. Opportunities have sped by and I sit here actually thinking I need to contemplate the same thing again this year. It's time this cycle of putting this challenge off yet another year is broken. If I don't meet the 50,000-word count by the end of November, I will still have written more than if I pass on participating again. I can't say that it would be failing. I may not reach the finish line, but at least I'd be in the race.

I'm not sure how I will handle this blog and writing a novel in November. I suppose I'll never find out if I don't try. Here's to finally jumping into that pool and finding the motivation to keep swimming. The end product doesn't have to be great, it just has to be complete. Experiencing the feeling of finally finishing a story may just be the push I need to pick up the forgotten and neglected pieces waiting for attention and turn them into something better. I suppose I'm about to find out.