Finger Tapper From Way Back

Learning to have patience can be a life long challenge. Everything affects us differently, so applying the hard-won coolness you gained from one aspect of life isn't always as simple as it may seem. Some things require an even temperament that isn't like everything else. I'm still figuring out how to pace myself with a thing or two and thankfully I've experienced enough to work my way around irritable moments when things just aren't moving fast enough. Except in traffic. I have nowhere near enough patience for idiot drivers.

Whether it is work, play or something in between, there comes a time where exercising patience is a must. I can't very well go spouting off every thought that crosses my mind when I'm on a conference call that has everyone frustrated. Well, I could, but I might not have a job for long. I've always like a certain balance of space and togetherness when I'm dating someone, though learning to get used to those things occurring a bit out of the norm can be tricky. Of course, I figure that if Blue Eyes can be without his kids every other week, then I can adjust to a similar schedule with us. The thing is I'm aware of the urge to act on those twinges of impatience these kinds of things bring about, so I try to stay ahead of the knee-jerk responses and reign in the whiny tendencies before they get their way.

Do I always succeed? Not even close. I do get over the stress and disappointment of not getting my way relatively quickly, however, and that's far more telling of the effort patience takes. I work from home, have raised two kids on my own, am the sole income and I do most everything that needs to be done in my life myself. It's really no wonder that patience has never been something I've exuded naturally. It's always been a 'move out of the way and let me just get it done' kind of outlook. My youngest son loves to tell people that he never learned to properly carve a pumpkin because I always took over to get it done. The things is, he's not exaggerating even a little. At the time I didn't consider that my idea of helping was actually just impatience butting in and preventing others from having their own learning experience. That shit takes a whole lot to unlearn.

I try to step away from things and ask myself enough questions to ascertain if my feelings of unrest and antsiness are justified or just over the top. More often than not I discover that I'm poised to jump in and get something done when it isn't really my place to interfere with a challenge or lesson that is meant for someone else to work through. Without feeling the frustrations and overwhelming fears that come when trying to accomplish something, the ability to really appreciate a win is greatly diminished. Who am I to take that from anyone; particularly the people I know and love? Patience is a tool that keeps the balance around us and reminds us that life is more than what we see, hear or feel. We'd do well to remember to focus on our own paths and challenges, and stop letting the pace of someone else's drive us mad.