Could I walk away if I needed to? Or could I turn my back and focus in the opposite direction if I wanted to? I'm not certain what ills my life would suffer, though it is likely to fair just fine. I suspect my clinging has more to do with whatever inadequacies I imagine I possess, than it does a true addiction to you.
Walking away means no instantaneous fix, all immediate connection is lost. Would it be so bad to find myself in the quiet room of blissful ignorance? Might my focus be more attuned to the dreams I've held so near and dear for so long now, that I may dedicate all previously allocated efforts into creating a reality worthy of having dreamed?
If I cannot cut the cord; sever the line between 'having to know' and 'working to be', how will I ever know? Do I want the things I do enough to resist complete consumption by fillers and distraction? There are just 110 days left in this daily post adventure, but I believe, with the right mindset I can redirect the time and purpose in which I approach the hours that pass into something more meaningful. Into what gives my life purpose.
Technology, binge watching, and social media, we've been seeing far too much of each other these days. It isn't that I don't revel in the preoccupation and entertainment you offer, I just think too much of a good thing can turn other things sour. The life around me is collecting dust, and before I forget how to experience those parts of life altogether, I think we need to start seeing less of one another. This isn't goodbye, I'm not leaving, or walking away; just stepping back and exploring things that once meant a lot to me before we started hanging out. Maybe one day, not so far down the road, we can all hang out together and make the most of everything; it could even be surprisingly more fun.
But, I've got to start before I can finish.
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