From Your First Breath, You Have Been My Primary Focus

In the years since becoming a parent, there are a few things that still baffle me. One thing in particular, no matter how old my sons get. The seeming disinterest some parents have in their children's lives. Particularly when their child is spending the night at another person's house. I cannot imagine, even at Riley's almost 17 years of age, letting him go somewhere and having no interaction with the parent(s) first. 

I'm not overbearing and I don't think I'm unusual, at the very least I shouldn't be considered either by people. Becoming a parent means focusing on your child —their well-being, their happiness, their needs (and some of their wants), and making sure they are safe. Granted, once they are out in the world without you, that last bit is a tough one to carry out, but at the very least a parent does their due diligence to inform themselves about the people who come into contact with their children. 

When my boys go to someone's home, like a new friend, I always want to talk to the parent(s), even if it is just on the phone. I am floored by how many kids I've had at my home whose parents never attempted to find out anything about me. Thankfully, I'm an involved parent, and their children (whether they are interested or not) are safe when they are in my home. 

It saddens me to know that the kids who have witnessed the relationship my kids have with me are aware they do not have something similar with their own folks. The older they get, the more they understand what is missing from their life — I knew kids like this when I was a teenager, and a couple of them told me to appreciate that my parents cared enough to know everything they could about my life outside of the home. I didn't know then just how important it was to have involved parents, but since becoming one, I can't imagine ever creating a life that my children didn't feel smothered by my love, under my watchful eye, embarrassed by my protectiveness and know that I would do anything to keep them safe and happy even if they roll their eyes in protest. 

My sons will never know what it is to grow up with a mother who let them do whatever they wanted because I didn't care enough to ask questions first. They never had to feel as though I didn't care about their wellbeing or their lives. They won't ever look back at their years growing up and wonder what it would have been like to come from a home where there was never a question they were loved. Here's to all the other dedicated, loving parents who are fighting against the growing wave of indifferent childrearing and staying involved in their children's lives. Children who don't doubt the love of their parent(s) grow into much more secure and responsible adults. Being involved is the best tool in a parent's arsenal of raising a family that's centered in love.