A Cover Does Not Define The Contents

I always thought I was progressive and accepting — even understanding. Until my son began going to a high school that truly exemplifies open-mindedness and acceptance. This isn't to say that I don't think I'm an accepting person, just that I was not aware there were so many aspects to life and identity that I wasn't aware of.

Today I experienced a conversation that started with relaying an interaction I had earlier in the day, and sort of gave the whole full-circle element to a lesson learned. I sometimes envy my youngest son and his counterparts. They have the advantage of not having preconceived notions thrust upon them regarding gender and identity. In most cases, those views are not strong enough to affect the formation of their own opinions anyway.

I paused for a moment when emailing a parent of another student. I knew that my son had told me that several of the kids he goes to school with are either gender-queer or gender neutral. My writing skills were a blessing, as I reworded my praise and acknowledgement of another parent's child without using the wrong pronouns to refer to them. Two years ago I wouldn't have understood the importance of choosing my words in this kind of scenario. It's isn't so much about being p.c. as it is about being compassionate and accepting.

While I have no idea what it is like to not identify as female, I believe it is not only possible but incredibly common for people to have not idea what gender they identify with, if they do at all. I'm so ingrained with using 'she', 'he', 'her' and 'him' that it takes real effort to stop and consider the people I am interacting with or addressing before I let those pronouns slip.

I might have wanted to baulk about the change at first, but after a quick breath, I realized that these things have nothing whatsoever to do with me and I ought not act as though they do. I love that my sons can teach me lessons that drastically change my view on life for the better and make me an overall better person. What you believe to be true isn't nearly as important as how you conduct yourself when it becomes clear there is a much different truth that makes more sense.