For the past few weeks, I've been experiencing a flux. I'd like to say that this is just with writing, but it's essentially affecting my entire life. It isn't a bad thing, though I've found it difficult to stay on top of daily posts. Change can be subtle and smooth, and it can also churn things up like a hurricane over water. I wouldn't say I've reached hurricane status, but I'm definitely in the middle somewhere.
I enjoy balance when it is present, the rest of the time I am working to restore it. There was a time when I hated this yo-yo-ing between easygoing and challenging. I felt as though I had spread myself too thin and I was being pulled in too many directions. Now I know that is just life for a single, working mother who is choosing to enjoy life amidst the responsibilities.
Looking at all that is happening, or all that is currently uncertain, none of it is negative. Stress is certainly associated but no longer the prominent focus it once was. Without a doubt, a life that is as busy as mine currently is can present some serious navigational hurdles, so avoiding stressful moments is unlikely. It is far easier to work through difficult situations when you accept that you will be challenged. Adversity can crush you or it can make you stronger. It's all in how we choose to face it.
When I consider the past two months, I laugh at how I could be surprised — even for a moment, that I'm having a tough time keeping everything straight. We moved into a new home just a month and a half ago, then a week and a half later I had ass surgery (this is far more fun to say than hemorrhoidectomy and honestly, easier to type), and I've been doing the whole job search thing in preparation for the end of my current job's contract in October. Mixed in with those things, Riley started his senior year in high school, the boys' grandfather has had a health scare, I have far more writing ideas than I can process, and my relationship with my Mister is about to take a big step forward. All of that and summer is ending without any thorough enjoyment of it on my part. It really is no wonder I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed at times.
No matter how crazy things may get or whatever life has in store, I refuse to throw my hands up in defeat. Every day is a gift and wasting it on things like stress and despair is unthinkable. The best way to enjoy life is to welcome all of it, and that is exactly what I will continue to do.
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