Self-confidence is the single most appealing thing about a person. No matter how much you value someone, if they lack self-confidence, over time it is tough to continue doling out support, encouragement and reassurances. Slowly the bright, shiny light they were in your life becomes dim, making it hard to see.
When you look at someone you care about, part of their allure is linked to how they carry themselves. If they are always second guessing themselves, or arguing away your positive reinforcements, enjoying their company becomes challenging. No matter how many other good qualities they have, if they need to built up by the people around them frequently, you've got to wonder when they will ever step in and figure it out for themselves.
I know that I have had, and will likely continue to have moments where I'm questioning my ability to do something, but ultimately if I don't see my own worth how can expect those around me to? Without self-confidence I'd never have made the leaps I have in life. I raised two boys through their toughest years on my own, I left relationships that were toxic because I deserve better, I chose to leave behind one profession for something more challenging and it's ignited a deeper dedication to writing, I didn't let doubt about my age deter me from diving into getting fit and I am in the best shape of my life today. The best part of these things is that I did them all by having confidence in myself. The surprising part is that I have more support and encouragement than I could have ever imagined from the people around me.
When a person is sure of themselves and approaches life without allowing doubt to undermine their efforts, it's easy to cheer them on. The positive reinforcement doesn't fall like dead weight into an endless pit of woe-is-me, it bolsters the can-do attitude. It also bounces back on the people who extended the support, making them more energetic and likely to do what they are capable of and more.
Most of us have been hurt, let down and wronged at some point in our lives; some of us more than others. Allowing those who subjected us to these ills to continue to impact us by letting the negative energy take hold is the worst thing we could do. When you fall, you get back up. If it's tough enough to get back on your feet that someone lends you a hand, don't pull them down on the ground with you. Make use of the boost, otherwise they may think twice about helping you the next time.
The only person who can give you confidence is you. Cultivate your inner strength and hold yourself in a way that makes you do a double take in the mirror because there's just so much damned awesome reflecting back at you. You can shine your light on those around you, but the only eyes you can open to see are your own. What another person chooses to do with that guidance, that light is entirely up to them.
Own your shit. Be your brand of awesome. Encourage and support others, but understand that those things alone don't create self-confidence. Each person needs to do the work themselves and believe their own hype - otherwise they stand to miss out on some of the best things they will ever have the opportunity to do, the most amazing people they may ever know and the most incredible life experience they could have had.
No comments:
Post a Comment