It's Not Always Easy, Embracing The Positive Side Of Things

Possibility. That shit can be awesome, and it can be scary as hell. When you stop and really consider that every moment that is ahead of us is full of possibility, it's a little bit mind blowing. Not to mention a whole lot of nerve-racking.

I mean, if there is possibility, that essentially means that things could turn out either way. I've long associated the word 'possibility' with good things, but sometimes when you're at the precipice of change, it suddenly occurs to your frightened sense of self that things could go to shit in a heartbeat. It is definitely not the best use of energy to allow your mind to run wild with all the catastrophic scenarios, or heartbreaking scenes.

Despite the negative ramifications, it is human nature to initially experience a momentary grip of fear and uncertainty when faced with unknowns. We've evolved over time and become entrenched in routine and predictability. When we have a bad experience, anything that reminds us of that experience triggers that internal protective system. We guard ourselves against even the slightest twinge of familiar pain.

On those occasions when caution is thrown to the wind, the first few steps aren't without second guessing. Whether there is immediate push-back, or nothing but the sound of crickets, my mind goes absolutely nuts with what ifs. Second guessing is something of an art form with me. I drive myself batty analyzing everything I did, said, or inferred. Far too often for my liking, it takes me awhile to get control over my thought process and begin positive intervention.

I've been trained by life to expect the worst. I've been beaten, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Betrayal has been an underlying current, because I extend trust to people who are just waiting to abuse it. Despite all the work I've done to reach the even place I occupy most days, I'm still prone to those knee-jerk reactions, and it's still work to move beyond the doubt, and fear.

The moment my mind recognizes reason, the light slowly gets bigger, and those overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and incompetency fade away. I can move from how everything might go wrong, to what in my life is going right. Thoughts settle on moving passed things and people that consistently generate uncertainty, and finding ways to ground myself in the uplifting things life presents. There may always be a tendency to hesitate, but somewhere within is the motivation to keep moving on toward better things.