On A Roll Now

It appears that as I get more and more comfortable in this life I've been working at, I realize that some of the things that aren't working anymore aren't necessarily because I'm slacking at living a better life. Amazingly enough, it took the past two years to really dig deep and push an evolution within my heart and soul. At the risk of sounding New Age-y, my 40s have been an awakening on nearly every level.

Those nagging issues that are making themselves more and more known, are really a blessing. My health has always been relatively good, so the current state of malaise that pops up in a far more frequent way these days, has grabbed my attention. I have freed myself from so many negative habits, and as a result I have no doubts that these remaining hurdles aren't the symptom of stress, anxiety or unhappiness. They are the legitimate effects of consuming and using an array of chemicals and toxic products over a prolonged period of time. Just how can I be sure? I'm far more in tune with my body since I've immersed myself in positive thinking and living.

I am well aware that the processed garbage that passes for food these days is laden with numerous ingredients that were never meant to be ingested. I bought into the bullshit, and frankly I allowed myself to become lazy; giving up years to time-saving, carb-filled options that eventually robbed me of my energy, focus and ambition. The funny thing is, even knowing the shit I was consuming (and feeding my kids) was irresponsible, I just turned a blind eye and continued along day after day. It wasn't until I'd changed my way of thinking and relating, that I could actually do something. Maybe I was just so addicted to the crap, that I needed to build a stronger me in order to tackle this kind of change.

Being me; being a more positive, understanding and freer person was a challenging accomplishment. I have to say I'd do it a hundred more times instead of revamping my dietary and personal habits, because this shit is almost overwhelming. Of course, I'm not who I was two years ago, and I've got an incredible light of determination that keeps me going that has already made a world of difference.

I won't tell someone else they should follow suit, and I refuse to criticize anyone else's choices. Even if it is obvious to me that there is a better way, who am I to say so? It is quite unlikely that I would have listened to anyone's advice, no matter how much fact they had to back it up, just a few years ago. And honestly, I might never have cut ties with that negative trough of bullshit if I was focused on begrudgingly 'changing my ways'.

We get to where we are going in our own unique time spans. What triggers enlightenment, what fuels change is unique to us all. I'm on this path, fully committed to where I'm going, and completely aware of the moments that make up the journey. Lasting change and betterment cannot happen without the freedom to make those kind of commitments to yourself. If it takes ten different attempts, or a thousand, to find the realm of balance body, mind and soul that's what it takes. If the changes I've made, and continue to make, inspire someone to make changes in their own life, fantastic. We can inspire and we can be inspired, but we can only do the work for ourselves.